𝗣𝗬𝗥𝗔𝗠𝗜𝗗𝗦 - 𝐦𝐢𝐝𝟗𝟎𝐬

9

9 pyramids.

tw: self harm 

I worked for hours till 6pm on Tuesday nights.
I placed the cigarette between my lips  and blew the smoke out of my mouth.

I opened the door to my crappy house I heard my mom crying in my brothers room.
So much was going through my mind I blew it out on the cigarette coaster.

I opened his door blood leaked on her hands as I gasped it was like my heart had dropped onto my feet.
I left his room grabbing the phone dialing 911
I got on my knees touching the bullet in his stomach.

All the tears I cried couldn't help me let anything out.

God THIS IS ALL MY FUCKING FAULT!

Pulling away would've kept the roof over my head !

Pulling away would've kept my fucking brother on his feet.

I wasn't thinking about anyone else except myself!

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Tho I promised my brother I wouldn't put mom in a nursing home I had no choice.

I was now silently crying on my porch.
Now Im the only one that can be here for myself unless I take myself away for good.

"I'm not gonna do it"

I headed to the motor store again tho I told myself

  "It was my last time here"

I needed someone to cry on for a second thinking that he'd be in his right mind.

Barbie was drunk once again sitting with one of Estee's girls he looked pissed off.

He looked at me and walked over towards me.
He didn't say anything but

"See you later" and "Sorry" no hug no-

Fuck what did I expect from him actual love if so that was fucking stupid

I handed the letter I had wrote for him to Ray since he was the only one who wouldn't get stoned or drunk.

That night Barbie almost took away the boys lives away.

But I took mine away Permanently-

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   •G E N E R A L ' S •P O I N T  •O F • V I E W•

Yeah he promised her but he didn't promise himself he'd control himself.

Her car was parked unlocked doors wallet car keys everything left in her car.

He went through her wallet taking her ID out looking at her smile feeling ashamed.

A box sat in the back of her trunk a bunch of jewelry with baby photos. Bumper stickers across state.

FLORIDA

GEORGIA

CAROLINA

CALIFORNIA

The bathtub was where she let herself go

That writing on that piece of paper was his promise to himself.

He didn't get her full name all he got was "D"
from her And yet she got "Fuck shit and Barbie"

Tho her ID claimed "Desiree".

All the "I love you"'s  she left in the note she showed him but love wasn't a word he'd use for her he couldn't explain what four weeks felt like.

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