Nagito and me (VERY sexy)

Yim Yum

Hi, my name is Selph In'serté. I am 44 years old and I am a student at Hopes Peak Academy. I am the ultimate Tumblr Sexyman, an avid reader of Times Magazine, and a political Wunderkind (I have read 16 pages of the communist manifesto and consider myself the reincarnation of Karl Marx.) You probably already know my father, although you likely didn't know that we were related. His name is Softelie In'serte, the pioneer behind the well known Boris Johnson sex doll company.

I was very nervous for my first day at Hopes Peak Academy. I realised that everybody else there already had well respected ultimates, and I had no idea how they would react to something so trivial as the Ultimate Tumblr Sexyman. Take Kokichi Ouma for instance, the ultimate Beekeeper. His bees make the most succulent honey, and he was renowned around the world as a superb keeper of the bees. Or perhaps Mark Zuckerberg, the ultimate lizard, capable of blending in to any of his surroundings. His sharp tongue and quick wits serve him well in both the Courtroom and the bedroom.

As I walked into the courtyard of the Academy, I heard a whooping from up in the sky. I look above me, and jump aside just in time as a white haired boy in a green and red wingsuit lands beside me, cracking the pavement as he hits the floor. He jumped to his feet, gave a Sailor-Moon style peace sign and says to me in the softest, kindest voice I'd ever heard.

"Get Nagito'd! Ha, I'm Nagito Komaeda, the ultimate wingsuiter, and I'm gonna be the next wingsuit Hokage, believe it!"

I immediately fell faint, and dropped to one knee, taking the ring that I always keep in my back pocket for special occasions out, offering it to him.

"Nagito Komaeda. You are the light of my life. From the moment that I set eyes on you, 20 seconds ago, I knew you would be the one for me. Every time I look at your face, for the third time now, I still get that beautiful sensation of butterflies in my stomach. Will you make me the happiest girl in the whole world, and accept my proposal? Nagito Komaeda, the ultimate Wingsuiter, the future Wingsuit Hokage. Will you marry me?"

Nagito smiled at me, his eyes brimming with tears. His hand is hiding his mouth as he tries to process the complex emotions flowing  through him.

"Bitch, I don't even know your name," he said, his hand coming away from his mouth to reveal a soft smile. "But yes. Of course I will marry you, believe it!"

I took his hand, and hand in hand we cross the threshold into Hopes Peak academy, brimming with joy, completely unaware that a new chapter to our lives was about to begin...