for once in your life, trust someone else.

i wish you would take the risk

When I wake up the next morning, the events of yesterday immediately come rushing back. I'm such an idiot. Why didn't I tell Pope sooner? Why won't he just be with me until he has to leave? And why can't I be mad at him? If I could this would all be so much easier.

I hear my phone ding. It's probably Kie checking in. I turn it on, and sure enough, it's her.

hey r u ok? i know this must suck.

i dont wanna talk abt it  I text back.

im always here  she replies.

Sighing, I shut off my phone and decide to get on with my day. I don't know how I'm gonna deal with being around Pope for the next two months.

*time skip 1 month*

The last month has been the worst time of my life. Pope must have texted me about 100 times, but I haven't responded. Every time I see his name pop up on my screen, my heart hurts a little more.

I'm walking home from school one day when I hear Pope call my name.

"JJ! JJ please wait!"

I immediately speed up, keeping my gaze straight ahead.

"JJ please I just wanna talk."

Finally, I turn around.

"Talk about what Pope? About the fact that you're too scared to be with me?" I snap. 

"JJ. I'm not scared to be with you. I just - "

"You're just what? I am not good enough for you? I mean, you're going to a fancy school in California and I'm pretty much failing high school."

"That's not what I said JJ. You know that."

"I just don't get it, Pope. We could've spent a whole month together already but you're just too scared because you're leaving soon. Why can't we just try it out?"

"I didn't want you to get hurt. I was trying to help you."

"Well, you didn't help me did you, Pope? You can't kiss me and then just say you can't be with me."

"I know JJ. I'm sorry. Can't we hang out? I don't want to leave without properly saying goodbye."

"You can say goodbye right now if you want. Get it over with ya know."

"JJ please."

"Goodbye, Pope. Good luck at your new school."

I turn away from Pope, who stands bewildered, and walk away, trying not to cry.

_

I'm doing my homework for once because I honestly don't have much to do anymore, seeing as I don't hang out with anyone. I've finally got the hang of these stupid maths concepts when my phone dings.

It's Pope, yet again. I don't even look at the notification, because I don't want to think about him.

Pope's POV

I think I want to try it out with you.

I take a deep breath and re-read the message. It was stupid of me to tell JJ I couldn't be with him. I did, but I was scared, just like he said. I know I really don't have a chance anymore, but maybe he'll give me a second chance. I hit send and immediately shut my phone off, scared of how and if he'll respond.

I decide instead to continue reading a new novel I decided to try, The Handmaid's Tale. It's pretty good so far and should distract me from the ultimate impending doom when JJ responds.

I manage to read two chapters before my mind wanders back to JJ. I shouldn't have sent that text. He's obviously still mad, so there's no way he'll agree to try things out. Maybe I should've just left things as they were, but I know that there's no way I could leave with at least trying to fix things.

I'm about to go back to my book, hoping for distraction again, when my phone starts to ring. I pick it up, expecting it to be my dad, calling to tell me to do my chores, but it's not. It's JJ.

I accept the call.