Roses are Dead

All Fall Down

"An entire sea of water can't sink a ship unless it gets inside a ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can't put you down unless you allow it to get inside you." - Goi Nasu

Evening Twilight. Y/N's POV.

The pills are kicking in.

I stop walking and glance down the bridge into the waters of the Han river.

Until morning, I was sure I wanted to end this but wasn't sure when and how. For the 'when' part, I decided to do it whenever I got time. Am I THAT busy to not even have time to take this step? No. I am just usually surrounded by people. Classmates and roommates, Lisa and Jennie.

The 'how' part was more of a trouble to figure out. I could have sliced my wrist, but let's be honest, waiting for a significant amount of blood to leak out of my 21-year-old, well-grown body to make me unconscious and slowly take my life away doesn't sound like an appealing way to be gone. To heaven or hell.

Back to the 'how' part, it was instigated when I came home after class and spotted a small white plastic medicine container. Jennie's sleeping pills. I checked how many of them were there. Six. They won't do. I still stuffed them in my pocket and placed the box as it was. Instead of being my last step, what I have now can only make my last moments less painful.

Almost everyone in Korea knows how the Han river is infamous for being the final destination of so many.

I decided to try both of them together.

Leave all the identifications at home. Mobile too. So no one can call me, or I can't reach someone in case I change my mind. Take the pills while on your way to the bridge. If tablets aren't kicking in yet, walk up and down the bridge waiting for them to start making your body feel heavy. Jump when you are sure you won't be able to swim your way back up for air.

I struggle to get past the railings but as soon as I am over them, I slip. That was not in the plan.

The next thing I know, I am in the air, upside down. Then piercing the surface of the water. As seconds pass, my speed of sinking slows but doesn't stop. This time I am not going up to get air ballooned in my lungs just to get back down, reciting the name of god- the way we do it in India.

I remember my family, my home. What a great life it was until it wasn't.

I open my eyes. They feel heavy. The water is clean, but something about it makes it seem dark. I can't tell how long I have been in here. I don't know if this is the color of death.

I am not flapping my hands, but I inhale for air, almost instinctually, only to have water find its way within me. I close my eyes again. Tears would be streaming down my cheeks if I wasn't in the water. It is painful on the inside. You can't escape the pain. That is what my life has taught me, and this would be the moral of my death.

The smiling faces of my mom and dad. I want them to be the last thing that comes to my mind.

"When will you come back?" mom had asked on the phone a couple of days ago. My throat became heavy at the sound of her question. Maybe I was too eager to go back and be able to hug her and dad, or maybe somehow, I knew I won't be able to do that ever again. If I had known at the airport that it was our last hug, I would have taken a tighter hold of them.

Please, god, send me to hell because I would have to face my parents someday in heaven.

My lungs make one last attempt to suck air, but they get disappointed as more water flushes in. I feel numb. I don't know where I am anymore. I feel like getting sucked into something deeper, darker, and more peaceful. Just like I had heard about the death.

Just before the darkness overpowers me, I feel a touch. A pull.... A kiss... A kiss!? It is a weird thought to cross someone's mind right before death. Isn't it?

Morning Twilight. Y/N's POV.

I hear faint beeping sounds from a distance. I open my eyes. They are still heavy, but being able to open them proves I failed. With a sluggish mind, I try to process where I am.

There are two more beds other than mine. On one of them, an old man is sleeping. The other one has a middle-aged woman with a similar-aged nurse beside her. "Don't worry. They are waiting outside." The nurse says it to her in a reassuring tone, to which she responds with a nod. I sat up. "Ah. She is awake." The woman informs the nurse in a low voice, high enough for me to hear.

"Good morning! How are you feeling? Still sleepy?" The nurse said with a differently sweet voice as she approached me. This is awkward. "Oh, and you can call me Mrs. Yang." She adds.

"I am feeling... alive?" I am feeling good enough to leave this place. Whenever I am around people, my energy gets drained by faking smiles and censoring my words from my thoughts. The last thing I want to have right now is a recommendation for the psychiatric ward.

"That sounds better. Suicide prevention team was scared when you didn't wake up after CPR." Well, that explains the kiss. "Your friends were worried too." Suddenly, I want to talk to her.

"Jennie and Lisa?" I am sure I don't have any ID. There is no way they can reach someone I know.

"No. I am talking about your classmate." I am talking about them too. "In fact, one of them saw you jumping and-" I can see excitement forming on her face.

"And?"

"he jumped after you." WHAT!? Did she said 'he'? There ain't no 'he' who would do that for me. Well, not anymore.

ARMY!! How was it? Your author nim has tried to have Jungkook and Taehyung as main leads in a story for entertainment purposes. Having them as main leads doesn't mean that I hate other members. In fact, my bias is Suga. >\\\< Constructive criticism is welcomed ^_^