Dreaming of You

Looking for Bucky Barnes

A/N: I realized I should include some additional warnings. I usually write on other sites that have warnings via tags. You should know this series includes dark themes and graphic depictions of violence, trauma, mind control, non-consensual touching and rape, suicidal thoughts and self-harm. These are all very spaced out and this first fic gives you a good idea of my style of hot sex and rough violence all with a carefully intertwined story. I'm new to Wattpad, but not to fanfiction. I wanted to move some of my stories here to see if I could get some more comments and engagement and inspiration to keep writing. I hope if you enjoy your comment and start a conversation. 

Your POV 

I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be sticking my nose into this. I should be alone, on my couch binge-watching Netflix, or eating ice cream. I shouldn't be trying to hunt down the Winter Soldier with Captain America. I had absolutely no business here, and yet, those baby blue eyes cracked me in two without even trying. It seems so far out of my depth, but there was also something about this situation that didn't sit right with me, that there was something itching inside me that said if I could help, I should help. There was also something about this whole situation that made my blood run cold with fear.

Steve crossed his arms, leaning back against the kitchen counter. My kitchen counter. Captain Fucking America was absolutely unreal, and here he was in my house asking for my help. Bulging muscle, smooth, soft blonde hair, and piercing blue eyes, I feel almost starstruck by the Steve Rogers. I wasn't a fool. I knew I was only admitted to SHIELD because I had some weird powers. Something that made me special, and that was the same reason that Steve was here. I was useful, but only as much as I could control my rampant unpredictable magic. His honey-smooth voice snapped me out of my dazed glance. "Sam said you thought you found him, but it was from a few weeks ago?" I nodded, letting my eyes close for a moment. Steve was here for my help. I needed to get my head in the game, no matter how much I felt like he could peel me apart without trying.

"Yeah," I swallowed and opened my eyes again refocusing on the computer screen in front of me. "I felt something...strange-" I told him, stopping myself.

I didn't want to tell him about the dream. People don't understand how my powers work, and sometimes I am not even sure if I am controlling them at all. I just seem to know things and my dreams seem true sometimes. How do I tell this man that I was dreaming of his best friend and yet didn't know why or how it was possible?

I have a couple of dreams, but most often, I dream of the only time I meet him. It was back in the hallway at shield. The Winter Soldier stalked past me to the helicarriers, to stop Steve Rodgers, and I had stepped up to stop him. I did it in my dream, just like I had every time in this dream. Also, as I had done in real life. I couldn't, of course. The Super Soldier hadn't thought twice before he had flung me across the room through a plate glass window like a rag doll. But this soldier in my dream didn't. Something was different. When I dream in magic, it feels different, and it smells different. This time he smelled like vanilla, sweat, and fear. Some of that might have been him, and some of that had to have been me. The Soldier didn't throw me aside. He had stopped and looked deep into me like he recognized me and this time grabbed me by my uniform shoulders, flesh and metal biting into me and searing like hot rods down into my veins, and he pushed me. I knew he was telling me to run, to save myself, to get away from him, but he didn't speak with his voice, and instead, his mind sounded like a gravelly old recording in my head. When I woke up, I just knew where he was.

I met Steve's questing eyes and feel myself tense. That wasn't something I could tell Captain America. That all of this was based on a feeling from an uncontrolled and unreliable superpower that Wanda still couldn't help me figure out all how to control, and Dr. Banner couldn't stop. I guess I could do this, though. I knew what I saw. I knew what I felt, and no matter how illogical it seemed, I knew I was right. "I thought that was suspicious. I usually can't find somebody if I don't know them. But I did some digging on my hunch, and I think he was there." I pull up a picture to share, "I think this could be the Winter Sold-"