ABANDONED

cHatptur 1

"Stick some iron in your mouth and pull the trigger"

- sun tzu

owl walks to dust till dawn for some irrelevant reason that makes no sense, and casually walks to the nearest minor.

owl: yo wassup rubyj

ruby: how tf do you know my name

owl: cause the author is lazy

red shiny rocc: ok then

???: ayo gimme yo money.

owl: what is this, Kickstarter?

???: no this is deez

ruby- oh hey deez

deez: you're not gonna ask who deez is?

ruby- I already know...
A smirk grows on ruby face.

ruby: deez nutz

deez's eyes widen and he gets thrown out of the window in shonk

owl: daym you destroyed him

???: aye did you just kill deez

???2 - deez ain't breathing dude!

???3 : GET EM!

???- YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!!

owl pulls out a smart pistol, locks on to the three henchmen, and pulls the trigger. The duo try to flee but are noticed by the others in the shop

Timeskip 2 years

Flashback 2 years ag

The other men looked outside as Ruby and Owl ready their weapons. Roman scowled, but Ruby smiled back at them before twirling the weapon around, striking it into the ground. She turned her head to Owl.

owl- STOP USING THE FUCKIN TRANSCRIPT OR IMMA PULL UP

Ok I'll just stop using the transcript, you're annoying af

owl : that's better

Anyways

ruby- are you ready to commit literal manslaughter.

owl: hell yea

(insert terrible written fight scene here)

owl: wow, we just killed all of them

roman: you were worth every cent. Truly, you were.

ruby : who? The henchmen that we beat tf out of?

roman- yes

Roman: well guys that was fun. Just wish that wr could talk for a bit longer that would be fun right although it would like that it would be fun for us and you can do a great deal on the game if we do want the right eyeing the game lol lol I love you too lol lol sorry but thanks for letting us know I love love miss love you guys too much too too love it lol love it too much lol love it too lol thanks love its on the list of stuff I hate black guys kissing turns me o-

owl- FUCK

roman;.... wat

owl: idk, just felt like screaming fuck...

...

ruby- ...

roman: ...

owl - ...

the dead henchmen- ...

so, uh...

isn't glynda supposed to save you guys from cinder

ruby: n-nah we good

oh for fuks sake-

timeskip to interrogation bc Im lazy af

glynda: I hope both of you realize that you ended multiple lives tonight. You put yourself and others in great danger.

owl - glynda, we fucking killed those guys, and your not putting us in jail?!????

glynda : if it were up to me, you two would be sent home... with a pat on the back... and a slap on the wr-

owl- you're just gonna go through your lines aren't you?

glynda: -face

She smacks owl in the face.

glynda -But... there is someone here who would like to meet you two.

Ozpin walks through the door

Oznin- wats up

ruby: hi

opin -Ive only seen one other scythe wielder of that skill before. A dusty old crow...

ruby : oh! That's my uncle, joe

opzin: wait whos joe

ruby- joe mama-

ruby : oh! That's my uncle qrow!

Zozpin; epik

mr ozpinball: so like, I know you two killed those guys and are now being hunted by the fbi, but like, do you guys wannna join my school?

ruby: more than anything.

Owl- sure, wait did my name just get capitaliz-

yes it did, now SHUT UP YOU STUPID CUN-

To be continued, in the next chapter even though another chapter will never be released and this "book" will forever be lost to the ocean of throwaway fanfics in this walmart of a world...