Riding The Waves | A Bondi Rescue fanfiction

Chapter 5

I am so, so sorry. I have not posted for several weeks. I was away for a while and then I was sick. School has been hectic and I have not had the time or motivation to write. It is now the school holidays, so I should update several times over the next week or two. I am also hoping to pre-write some chapters so there won't be any more long delays. But this update has been a long time coming. It is also short and not very good, so I apologise. Hopefully, it will get better. Next chapter we will start seeing some more lifeguards.

This chapter may be very triggering for some readers. It describes child abuse. If this may be triggering for you, please do not feel pressured to read this. Abuse and recovery are key themes throughout this story, but you can skip over the actual descriptions (mostly) and the story will still make sense. I do not have personal experience with abuse and I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. If I have done a poor job at discussing abuse, please let me know. I am sorry for the long Author's Note.

Jasmine smiled softly, thinking about the day that she had just had. She was proud of her performance and hopeful that they might consider her as a trainee. The boys' compliments had bolstered her spirits, and she was feeling good about herself for the first time in a very long time. Until she heard her father enter the hallway.

She had been feeling good about herself, but she was tired too. Her day had been long and stressful, having to speak with so many new people. Jasmine did not want a confrontation and hoped to slip quietly up to her room. But her father was having none of that.

Moments later, his loud, harsh voice filled the air. Jasmine winced at how angry he sounded. "Where have you been? Who have you been with?" he demanded.

"I have been at the lifeguard tryouts. Where you told me to go," Jasmine responded faintly.

"No, you haven't. You are far too happy to have been at such an event. Have you been making out with boys somewhere?" her father questioned, stepping closer to her threateningly.

"No, I wasn't. I was actually at tryouts." Jasmine stuttered, clearly unnerved. It had been a long day and she was struggling to cope with the rush of emotions that were threatening to overwhelm her.

"Let's just imagine for a moment that I believe you," her father responded. "How much of a fool did you make of yourself? Did you embarrass the family name?"

"No! I did OK. I did well even. I might have a chance of becoming a trainee," she told him, hoping that he might leave her alone.

"Don't be ridiculous," he responded, dashing Jasmine's hopes of pride. "As if you would ever be given a job if they could help it."

"But what if I did?" Jasmine was now desperate to keep her dream alive.

Her father had now realised that she was being serious, that she actually might have a chance at being selected as a new trainee.

"Well then, it's a good thing that I have always supported your swimming endeavours. And I have always pushed you to achieve your best."

Jasmine nodded, pretending to agree. Her father had never supported her love of the water. He tried to stop her from learning to swim, believing that it was a useless sport. He couldn't swim, so he didn't think that she should be able to either.

He had never pushed her to achieve either. Instead, he did everything in his power to stop her from being successful, and then got mad when she wasn't perfect. But Jasmine knew that bringing that up would only cause problems. It was easier to nod and smile.

*****

Her father was talking again. "Of course, with my instruction, you were practically guaranteed a traineeship. It says nothing about your abilities. But now, you will have to prove yourself. You must uphold the family reputation and prove our family's skills to the other lifeguards. You must be the best."

Jasmine sighed. Of course he was going to push her now. He could never be happy with what she had done. No, she always had to be better. And while he was in a good mood now, she knew that it wouldn't last long.

Soon enough, her father's view changed. Instead of complimenting himself, he turned on Jasmine and began to push her. He started asking questions, making her describe what she would do if confronted with impossible situations. Jasmine knew she was unlikely to ever have to resuscitate 25 people on her own, but that didn't make her father's yelling any easier to deal with.

Before long, she was getting overwhelmed by his constant questions. She was struggling to come up with answers that he would find acceptable. Her day had been long and tiring, and she needed some time to herself. She was starting to question her performance and could feel herself getting more worked up as he yelled.

She tried to leave the room, telling her father that she had homework to do. But he wasn't done with her. Trying to hold back the tears threatening to fall, she tried to come up with a better excuse.

But her father had noticed that she was upset. "Why are you getting upset!" he yelled. "Oh, I know. Because you are weak and stupid."

"You must be lying about the job. There is no way you would ever be able to cope with lifeguarding. You wouldn't even deal with a test like the one you said you did today. You cannot cope with anything."

Jasmine felt her heart rate pick up as the intrusive thoughts began to fill her head, telling her that he was right. 'He is right,' she thought. 'I am good for nothing. I am weak and useless and stupid. How could I ever cope with thousands of lives being in my hands? I would stuff everything up. People would die because of me!'

Her father had finished yelling, but he wasn't done with her yet. He shoved Jasmine to the floor and began kicking her. She curled up slightly, feebly trying to defend herself. But her heart wasn't in it. She had let the intrusive thoughts in and now she agreed that everything was her fault. 'Perhaps,' she thought. 'I deserve this.'

Her father had grown bored with her. He grabbed a plate off the bench and hurled it at her back. It shattered, the shards tearing the skin on Jasmine' back, but she barely flinched. "Clean this up," her father growled as he grabbed a beer and left the room.

Jasmine began to clean up the china pieces. She was thinking about everything her father had said to her. 'He's right. I cannot cope with this. What was I thinking?! I am so weak, I would never be able to save anyone. They probably think I am a terrible swimmer too.'

She remembered how much quicker she had completed the course than all the other lifeguards and wondered how she had done it. 'They must have lied to me. They made the swim and course shorter and easier so that I could finish. Everyone else was doing the proper course. They were just trying not to upset me. I will probably never hear from them again. That must have been what happened. I never would have passed otherwise.'

Later that night, Jasmine lay in bed, cursing herself for trying out. She was convinced that she had no chance of becoming a lifeguard. She was sure her dreams would reflect that belief.

But her dreams were different. She was a lifeguard. She helped the others set up the beach and prepared for her first patrol. But when she went out for her first rescue, the patient was gone. The same thing happened the next time, and the next. Every time she grabbed a rescue board, the patient disappeared into thin air.

At the end of the day, she heard sirens. When she returned around, she could see many ambulance officers, all attempting to resuscitate a patient. With a start, she realised that they were all the swimmers that had disappeared throughout the day. She watched in horror as, one by one, all the patients were pronounced dead. A tiny voice whispered through her head: This is all your fault.

She woke quickly, trembling and panting. 'This is why you shouldn't be a lifeguard.' She told herself. 'You couldn't handle blood on your hands. Given you stuff everything else up, someone will die. It is better for everyone if you do not get the job.'