Mabel's Destiny

Finally, A Baby.

Elise's P.O.V
We had decided that after a few months of failing to conceive, we needed to get some help. Nobody ever addresses the struggles that couples go through to have something so precious. Something that others abuse and take advantage of. Our nursery was jungle themed and the walls are painted blue with a small dark wooded crib that had a matching dresser. A small diaper changing pad sat on top of the dresser next to a basket holding diapers, cream, and whatever other essentials I had gotten but still had sealed. I don't plan on finding out the gender of any of my pregnancy's and this nursery theme would be useful for all the children we plan on having. We are hoping for three children, but this has been so hard to achieve I almost don't think it will happen. The nursery sits empty another day.
Kobe went away on a weekend trip with some buddies. He always went on this trip once a year with them so it wasn't unusual. We had a big appointment coming up with the fertility specialist and I know how stressful this has been for him. He wants this baby just as much as I do. I figured that one last weekend of fun would be something he needed. He was working his ass off and trying for a baby. That's got to be extremely stressful. He usually drinks too many beers, catches a ton of fish and does whatever grown men do when their wives aren't around. Kobe packed up his vehicle, gave me a kiss goodbye, and I sat on the porch of our home watching as he drives away. Alone in our house for the next three days by myself and I am not sure what to do with myself. I decide to look up the next step in our fertility journey.
When he arrived home after his trip had ended I noticed something was off. He was distant and not as interested in me. He left for work early and came home later. We spent time together by eating dinner and sleeping together but that was it. I had brought it up and he was telling me he had been tired from working and trying for a baby. I should have known it was something else. He didn't let me unpack his bag like he had always done. This was the first thing I noticed and the second was his phone being locked when he used to never have it. His coworker, Corey, had been texting him an awful lot about upcoming meetings and Kobe said that was what the stress was about and why he was locking his phone up. He quit showering with me. I understand many couples want their own shower, but the feeling of washing my own hair again has been somewhat depressing.
About a year of trying had passed when I finally got pregnant. We had been doing trigger shots and timed intercourse for a few months when I saw my very first positive pregnancy test. I had expected that test to be negative, all the others had been. Those little blue lines felt like a dream come true. I didn't truly believe I was pregnant until I finally felt that baby move. Feeling little toes in your belly button sure will make you aware of something happening. It took me well into my second trimester before I couldn't hide my pregnancy. I wasn't hiding it because of embarrassment, but because I wanted to keep it mine. Kobe and I tried so hard for this and I feel like he is finally paying me attention and loves to feel the bump. Kobe was ecstatic over the pregnancy even though I could tell something was on his mind. I thought it was the added stress of not knowing reactions of our families and friends and news of him becoming a father. He didn't have the greatest example of a parent and I know he was worried about failing at being one. His gorgeous eyes always see the good in everything but himself. I love when Kobe believes in himself and I wish he would believe in my words when I tell him he was meant to be a father.

Sometimes I feel like Kobe intentionally plans trips away and keeps his phone on. He had a business trip every single weekend and when he was gone I barely heard from him. He didn't answer his phone and when I did hear from him, it was to check on how my pregnancy was doing. Weird for him to ask me every time he was gone, even though he was only gone for three or four days at a time. The trips are always out of town for some big named company and he never packed more than one suit and the rest were always loungewear. I haven't unpacked a bag for a while now and I kind of miss it. Especially with my second trimester almost ending. I miss my husband.