2 am Explosions

The invite

Hi this is the only warning I'm giving at all there will be ED, Self-harm, suicidal thoughts, mentions of suicide and attempts, and more if you get triggered by these topics or make you uncomfortable stop reading

~ Bakugou's pov ~

YOU WANT ME TO WHAT?!?!" I screamed at the red-headed idiot who had just tried handing me a pacifier. "Come on kats, I just want you to try it, age regression could help," Kirishima said softly, putting the pacifier in my hand. "I- I'M, NOT A FUCKING BABY, ..... and you sure as hell aren't gonna get me to act like one," I said whispering the last part to myself hoping that shitty hair couldn't hear me while throwing the paci onto the desk. "you're not a baby nor would I force you to have to act like one, it's just something that could help with your Ptsd" he replied. "you wouldn't have to do much in the beginning, most likely you would just suck on the paci, color, watch cartoons, or we could cuddle. plus it's way better than what you've been doing to cope lately" he added, reaching for my hand but I quickly pulled it away. He was right, to be honest, I didn't have the best way of coping, and the way he was describing it didn't seem horrible but I wasn't going to agree I was already weak and I couldn't let it make me weaker.

~ a Few days ago ~

It was winter break and I decided not to go home. I didn't want to deal with that old hag yelling at me for a week straight.

 I woke up crying.... again I wiped the tears from my eyes and hugged my pillow this was the 3rd time this week I'd woken up crying. I grabbed my phone, 3:23 am,  appeared across the screen in bright white letters. I let out a sigh and threw my phone to my side and buried my face into my pillow letting out heavy sobs. I couldn't understand why I was crying what reason did I have for crying "I'm not a fucking little kid s-stop.. crying... s-stop...Stop...STOP FUCKING CRYING STOP" I sobbed out into my pillow. all wanted was someone to come rushing over and pick me up and rock me tell me it's ok t-tell me I'm not a total fuck up! No, what the fuck am I thinking I'm not a little kid but now I so badly wanted to cry into someone's chest and after t-them cuddling me while watching a Disney movie...L-like when i-i was a little kid...I wish I was still a little kid...

~Idiot, of fucking course You're crying again, and over absolutely fucking nothing I mean what isn't this is 3rd time you're crying THIS WEEK, fucking weak. No wonder you're mom always yells at you, no wonder you got kidnapped,you're so fucking weak and a cry baby you're worse than stupid Deku your a stupid little weakling and all that shit about wanting to be a little kid fucking bull shit you need to grow the fuck up and be a man~

the stupid little voice in my head was right I needed to grow up I had no valid reason to cry... 

~ 8:30 Am ~

I guess I ended up passing out... I had woken up later than I wanted to. I had planned on going to the gym but it was too late now, almost everyone who worked out would be there. I liked going early when no one was there to work out freely, changing equipment whenever I wanted, and didn't have to put up with pesky extras. I grabbed my phone fuck only 23%, amazing, I plugged my phone in and went to the bathroom. I stopped in front of the mirror, I looked like shit I had huge eye bags and my eyes were red and puffy from crying, my cheeks were red and tear-stained, and not to forget the fact that my hair was a mess and greasy. I decided a shower was the best course of action especially if I had to leave my room today, which I really didn't wanna. I ran the shower and stripped down in front of the mirror while I waited for it to warm up, I was skinnier than I've ever been and not a healthy skinny I was way underweight so underweight even though all I really ever do anymore is work out I had hardly any muscle and you could feel my ribs by barely even pushing your fingers into my gut but I still felt fat and ugly. It made me sick just looking at myself. I looked up and down my body, I had cuts all over my arms, guts, and thighs I hated the way I looked. I quickly got into the shower after seeing the mirror fogging up and finishing looking at my body. I took a quick shower due to the fact that my whole body stung as the burning hot water, soap, and shampoo went in and over my cuts, I quickly dried off, no longer wanting to look at my body. I walked out of the bathroom and threw on a black hoodie, red boxers, and a pair of gray sweats not bothering to spike up my hair knowing it won't matter if I do or don't it'll spike up by itself. I flopped down on my bed and grabbed my phone carefully not to unplug it and turned it on 48 unread messages all from the so-called bakusquad I clicked on the messaging app and scrolled through the messages most of the ones from early talking about stupid memes and TikToks the newer ones were them talking about some stupid party I quickly sent "not going" when 3 thought bubbles popped up

" Racoon eyes- The hell you're not! "

" dunce face- yeah come on man it'll be fun" "

" Shitty hair- come on man it's not like you have to go anywhere it's literally down the hall in the common room"

" Me- Fuck no "

" skull candy ( Jirou Skull candy is a brand of headphones )- come on man I'm Djing so you know the music will be good "

" Tape face- yeah and I'm bringing the good stuff if you know what I mean "

" Everyone - ... "

" Tape face - yea know weed... TwT "

" skull candy - yes we know we're not idiots your just stupid "

" Dunce face, Racoon eyes- Lmfao "

" Shitty hair- come on guys be nice "

" Me- Still not going "

" Eye bags- Me neither "

" Dunce face - yes you are shinsou I'll be at your dorm at 7 "

" Eye bags - I have to watch Eri tonight "

" Dunce face- aww ok "

- Eye bags has left the chat -

- Baku left the chat -

It was stupid and I didn't have a reason to go they'd all be drunk, high, or both and playing stupid games like truth or dare beer pong, and 7 minutes in heaven. what's the point of stupid parties?

~ Kirishima's pov ~

It was winter break and the whole Baku squad and a few other people like Tokoyami, Todoroki, Momo, and Tsuyu decided to stay, and Mina and Denki of course decided that it would be an amazing idea to throw a party, and like always I was roped into it and now minas yelling at me over the phone complaining about how Bakus not coming. "what the fuck is so important that he can't come, what does he have to do its winter brake ". "mina relax he's probably tired, he most likely want to relax" I say trying to keep her calm "fine, but you have to go ask him to come'' she snapped back. " what why me!'' I replied sitting up on my bed " because I say so, plus out of all of us he seems to like you best" she replied as I could hear her throwing clothes on the floor most likely looking for an outfit "Fine" I grumbled as I got up out of bed, and hung up on her. I put on a hoodie, sweats, and my crocs and headed over to Bakugous dorm I knocked on the door I heard shuffling than a few seconds later the door opened just enough to see Bakugou head he stared at me for a second, his face was somewhat calm he was kinda cute I stared back for a few seconds his face quickly changed to what the fuck do you want, look before he spoke "Well" he said in his normal angry tone." oh uhh mina sen-'' "No" he said as he shut the door in my face. I was a little surprised. Normally he at least lets me finish my sentence but I guess he really doesn't want to go or I pissed him off.

~ Boom Boom Bois pov ~

I was watching TV when someone knocked on my door. I already had a guess fucking mina, of course, she wouldn't take no for an answer! I opened the door I was a bit surprised to see the shark tooth redhead, he stared at me for a few seconds before I lost my patience "Well" I said angrily I was surprised mina wasn't at my door bugging me "oh uhh mina sen-" at that moment I knew what he was about to say and I wasn't gonna fight him "No" I said as I shut the door. all he was gonna say was mina sent him to try and get me to come to the party. I flopped back down on my bed and went back to watching my show not noticing how much time had passed.

1687 words

thanks for reading the next chapter will hopefully be longer my goal is to make them at least 2500 words sorry for my horrible spelling, grammar, cringy shit stuff