From Sand to Nand

Chapter Nineteen

It wasn't until the days following the captain's death that those nearest to him decided to clean out his quarters. Pei had seen the inside of most dwellings on the island and spent a lot of time with the captain, which allowed him the privilege of being most familiar with where the sailor kept his valuables. McSchmitt and some crew members took the liberty of clearing the dwelling for their fallen captain but were initially reluctant to let Pei join, as he wasn't considered crew. McSchmitt defended Pei's right, however, and allowed him around the captain's personal space.

Apart from a few tools, drawings, gifts, and books, the captain's stone hut was surprisingly free of many of the consumer items that were produced on the island. He didn't have a lot of clothes, blankets, or even bedding materials. He did, however, have a few pieces of bamboo furniture, namely a nightstand, a desk and chair, and a hammock. He also tended to a personal garden that surrounded the rear and sides of his house the way water surrounds a peninsula.

There was nothing else of interest. Pei had already received the captain's most important belonging the day the sailor took his own life. It wasn't until Pei arrived back to his stone house that afternoon that he discovered a leatherbound journal and a letter the captain had left for him sitting on his work desk. As he got closer, he could make out one cursive word written on the pig skin wrappings around the pages, much like a primitive envelope: Pei.

***

Ahn and his friends walked away, leaving McSchmitt to continue his interrogation of Pei.

"Did the captain...say something to you? Anything before he...left?"

"No, why?" Pei asked.

McSchmitt seemed disappointed.

"What?" Pei asked.

The officer sighed. "I don't know. I suppose I'm just still very torn by it. That's all." Pei didn't say anything. "What you said during the meeting," McSchmitt began. "It just seemed like he might have talked to you about it or something."

"What did I say?"

"You know. About him doing it for us?" McSchmitt quoted.

Pei said, "Well, in retrospect, I could just see it...I guess."

McSchmitt asked, "But how? How'd you know?"

"He had a strong heart. You know that. For something to break him, it was just almost as if he had a plan."

"Do you really believe that?" McSchmitt asked hopefully.

"Of course. He would never do anything that wasn't in our best interest. I believe that."

"So, he knew then...what he was doing. You think? Amazing you figured that out."

Pei thought the officer was alluding to something accusatory, as if Pei had insight into the captain's mind that he wasn't sharing. It made sense to Pei that McSchmitt would do so. McSchmitt had known the captain for decades and was having difficulty accepting that he didn't say anything to him—not even a goodbye.

Pei felt horrendous, mentally. It crushed his spirits to see the despair McSchmitt was suffering from. The man just wanted closure.

Pei, realizing all of this, said, "Maybe it's not about whether I figured it out or I'm just choosing to believe it." He knew this would be temporarily disappointing for the officer to hear.

"Oh?"

"You knew him better than anyone. You can't tell me that you don't believe it, too."

"No, no. I-I believe it. Guess, I was just hoping maybe he—"