Talk to me

Yes or No?

        When I returned back to the orphanage no one else was there because it was the middle of the day, so Mrs. Mary fed me lunch. Then she asked me if I wanted to watch TV. It confused me because I have never heard or watched TV before. She smiled and rolled me in front of a big black rectangle. She said "I never watched TV with you before because I thought you wouldn't understand because the doctor told me that you didn't understand things properly, but now that I know that you do I wanted to show you things you've probably never seen before."

        Then she started to cry "I'm so sorry I must of made you feel stupid all the time. That must have been hard for you to be able to know that you understand things but not tell anyone. Please forgive me for doing that to you."

        I wanted to tell her I do forgive her because I know it wasn't her fault. I wanted  to tell her that it was the doctors fault for diagnosing me wrong and her having to believe what the doctor said.

She continued on with her crying "I know I said I would support you with whatever decision you made, but I really want you to get the surgery because I want to know that you forgive me. I want to hear your voice I want you to experience the world in the way I can experience it. I don't want you to be stuck in that chair and stuck in that body because of your disease. You don't deserve to be an orphan and go through what you are going through now."

        She stopped talking and kept crying and turned on the TV. People appeared on the black screen talking. I thought that this TV object was so cool. 

        We watched tv for a couple hours until the other kids got home from school. When they walked in they saw me and said "Why does she get to miss school and I don't?" 

        Another kid said "probably because her special school thought she was even to stupid for that school so they sent her home."

They laughed. Then Mrs. Mary stood up and said sternly "How dare you say that about her let alone even say that in front of her face! You girls should be ashamed of yourselves. Now go to your rooms and think about what you just said!"

Then the girls whined "It doesn't even matter what we said to her she can't understand us anyway."

When they said that I had realized we never told them that I can understand them. Mrs. Mary spoke angrily again "I was going to wait until supper to tell you guys this but i guess I'll tell you now. Lizy was diagnosed wrong. She can't move any part of her body but she can understand every word we say. So she might be getting a surgery very soon so she can move her body. Even though you guys did not know that she can understand you I still want you guys to go up to your rooms and apologize to her. Just so you girls know this even if a person can not understand you; you still should not treat them with the disrespect you have treated Lizy with."

They both embarrassingly said sorry. Then they stomped up to there rooms. Then Mrs. Mary turned around and told me she was sorry for what they said.

My day went by Mrs. Mary fed me and put me to bed. I lay here thinking about how what I should choose. I just think of the bad and really there wasn't as much bad things as there were positive. I could possibly become worse from the surgery but that was very rare the doctor said. I might remain the same with the surgery. Or I might not get the movement back in the areas that I want such as my head. 

On a positive note every thing could be perfectly fine. I could get what I expect. I could learn how to speak maybe if I'm lucky with my legs even learn how to walk and ride a bike. I would be just like a regular person.

After worrying about my decision I finally fell asleep. The next morning Mrs. Mary woke me up very early and said the doctor wanted me to see him early. So she dressed me and fed me as quickly as she could. She put me in the handicap car and drove me off to the doctors.

When I arrived the doctor told me he was very happy to see me and that he hoped I had made my decision. He brought me into his lab and attached to the machine. Then he asked " What is your final decision about the surgery? Yes or No?"

I thought long and hard and I finally came up with my decision.