Talk to me

What should I do?

        I was worried of making the wrong decision and regretting it later. The doctor told me I shouldn't worry what ever I choose will be fine. I wanted more time to make the decision so I said maybe in my head and the machine light popped up on maybe.

        The doctor shook his head in agreement. He said "I figured you would choose maybe. That's perfectly fine I would have done the same. Just make sure you have a decision in two days."

        The machine light blinked on yes. They chuckled and I made a laughing noise because we knew I was just saying that in agreement to what he just said.

        Mrs. Mary put me into the handicap car. As we were driving she was saying "I support your decision no matter what you choose. All I'm saying is that I think you should do the surgery because nothing bad will happen to you if you get the surgery because you will either be able to move or you'll be the same as you are now. If you don't get the surgery then you might regret it in your future when you hit a road bump because you are in the state that you are in."

        I wanted to tell her that I understand what she is saying but I just needed more time but I couldn't tell her.

        When we got back she fed me and put me to bed as she always did. That night I couldn't  sleep well because I was thinking long and hard about my decision.

        I woke up and Mrs. Mary said that I wasn't going to school that day because the doctor wanted me to talk to kids who went through the surgery to help me with my decision.

        Mrs. Mary fed me and then drove me to the doctors office. Once I arrived he brought me to a room with three girls in wheel chairs sitting there. They looked happy. Mrs. Mary and the doctor wheeled me into the room and put me on the opposite side of the table of the three girls.

        The doctor told the girls that they can tell me there story one by one.

        The girl on the far left went first. She told me "I don't remember much because I was six when I got my surgery. I know that it helped me talk but nothing else happened from the surgery. It took me a year to heal from the surgery and another year of physical therapy to see what the final out come of the surgery was. Even though the out come wasn't what my parents and I expected I'm glad at least I got to talk because I remember hating not being able to communicate to anyone and feeling alone to myself. So I think you should get the surgery because even if you don't get it you'll remain the same and if your surgery fails at least you know you tried."

        The girl in the middle had almost the same experience except she is able to move her arms along with being able to talk. Finally the last girl went and spoke to me. She was just like the second girl. Once they were done speaking the doctor said "I hope that helped you with the decision. I hope you make the decision you truly want. I'll see you tomorrow."

        Mrs. Mary put me into the handicap car to return back to the orphanage.