the real twilight

chapter two. they fuck lol

after seth so tragically died, they decided to play truth or dare! yayy!! (if i bring back a character, its an accident. im going to forget who i kill of at some point)

charlie goes to the kitchen to find an empty bottle but he comes back with a full bottle of vodka. he hands it to vampire edward and he starts to chug it with his super fast vanpire magic powers.

jacob scolls through his phone to put on sone music. he hits shuffle on his favorite playlist and shape of you by ed sheeran starts playing. everyone in the house collectively punches his in the face multiple times. jacob is dead

"whos first?" emmett says as he and andrew walk in the house. why did he invite andrew. they met him like four minutes ago.

"me bitch" resimee said. she spun the bottle and it landed on CHARLIE!!!!

"dare" he said. oh no it would be a shame if she exposed him.

"i dare you..."

OH NO! edward just died of alcohol poisoning. whoops.

"i think thats a good stopping point" alice chimed in so rudely. how could she interupt the game???

they all listened to her anyway. who wouldnt. shes alice.

charlie picked up both jacob and edwards bodies and threw them out on the front lawn alonv with seth and bella. there are no cops in this universe so whos going to question it. no one ever questions the vampire people.

emmett and andrew crawl upstairs for some reason. im still not sure why they do that. and then they go into the only bedroom in the house.

they get in the bed... and talk about sweet little things about their lives. emmett tells andrew what its like to be a vampire werewolf and andrew tells emmett what its like being a waiter at the local waffle house. they fall in love then and there.

after six minutes of talking, emmett proposes to andrew. HE SAYS YES! so now they are due to be married in two minutes.

they rush downstairs to tell the others but what they walked in on was the most horrific sight. renenene, charlie, and alice were ALL playing go fish. like what type of game is go fish. play rummy or some shit.

"GUYS!" andrew shouted

"hmm" they all said in the same exact tone, note, time, and expression. still deep in their game of go fucking fish, emmett pulls hid leafblower out of his pocket and destroys their game.

"WHAT THE FLYING FUCK WAS THAT ABOUT??" alice screamed at him. when i mean screamed i meant genuinely. she is very competitive.

"my bad" emmet started. "andrew and i wanted to tell you guys something very important"

"what is it" rinume asked.

"emmett and i are getting married!"

well that set alice off. yikes

as she beat andrew to the ground, she also managed to break emmetts nose.

after andrew stopped moving, she moved to emmett. he backed away slowly but not enough to escape alice.

now both emmett and andrew are dead.

alice huffed under her breathe "i hate gay people"

-

disclaimer: I DONT HATE GAY PEOPLE!!!! THAT IS A JOKE!!!!! (also alice doesnt either. shes just on a killing rampage tonight)

im going to keep changing that one girls name very often cuz i dont remember the name i was told.

im going to add more characters because im only down to three on my character list so i have to figure that out. yikes