the real twilight

chapter one. the party

so before we start there are drugs and stuff in this even though this is very poorly written. idk if itll effect you but be careful babes <3
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it all started that night at seths party. his parents were out of town so he invited the whole school of six people and charlie. charlie was grading everyones history exams while resume and seth were doing cocaine on the math homework.

jacob and edward sneek off to the only bedroom in the mansion. THEY GETTIN IT ON!!!!!!😩😩😏🤨😉😉 but they are soon cut short when bella walks in. edward vampire leaps to the other side of the room and jacob turns into a dog and bites bellas head off. bella is dead.

alice leaves the party half an hour after it starts. she meets with emmett at the waffle house across from the church. there were only a few people in the restaurant. a middle aged man and who seemed to be his kid eating waffles and a women maybe in her twenties who looked like she just came from a strip club.

alice and emmett walk in and get a booth next to the door. emmett starts rambling about charlie.

"oh my god alice! have you even seen him!?"

"i see him everyday em. did you forget he is our teacher or do i need to kick your brain back into place?"

"im sorry but he is so beautiful! like... he has the dad bod and EVERYTHING!"

"i know. we see him everyday! but we dont see ✨her✨ everyday..."

"oh my god alice why do you always have to turn this into a conversation about you and your love life?"

"because its more exciting than yours, my dear. i could still pull more guys than you and im a raging homosexual."

"oh you little b-"

"hi my name is andrew. could i get you guys anything to drink?"

at that moment, emmett completely blanked. he wasnt sure if andrew was real or not but GOD he wanted to take him home to meet his parents. and maybe do som-

"emmett! drink!" thank god alice snapped him out of that. yikes.

"oh um. ill get a cup of hot chocolate. thanks"

"okay. ill be right out with that."

alice looked at him waiting for an explanation.

"i dont like chocolate."

"what is wrong with you? and why were you staring at the waiter like my mom stares at a bottle of wine?"

"i want to have his babies, alice!"

"jesus christ, emmett! you were just crushing on our teacher two seconds ago and now youre on some random guy bringing us hot chocolate!?"

"his name is andrew. were you not listening?"

alice and emmett kept quarreling about andrew but they didnt know that he could hear EVERYTHING! andrew didnt hate the idea of this dude. he might have to get to know him. i grabbed a napkin and carefully wrote down his name and number with lots of hearts and sparkles around it. (yes. i wrote it. me. the author.)

andrew was walking back to the table with ine hot chocolate and a water. he did infact hear that emmett didnt like chocolate. what a dingus. he was also able to catch the strangers names.

"here is your hot chocolate and your water. also what type of person doesnt like chocolate?"

as he set the cup down with the napkin underneath, emmett had a look of pure horror. the mood would not be complete without alices barking laughter.

alice noticed the napkin first and sat looking at it until emmett yelled at her

"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT YOU LITTLE B-"

"LOOK DINKY DINGUS POOP!"

emmett looked down and started to tear up. he never thought he would get a fairy tail but it ha-

"oh my god, grow up! jesus christ"

"i go by emmett but i like that too."

"im going back to seths party to get as hammered as i possibly can."

"wait alice! im sorry."

"nah youre good. but i do want to get plastered so i might see you in the morning. you stay here and talk to loverboy."

alice sat in her car for a few minutes until she noticed that andrew had joined emmett at the table. after that she pulled away and drove to the party.

when she walked in, edward handed her a joint, wrapped in the previously graded history exams, dipped in acid. resume was making out with charlie on the couch. jacob was washing a skunk with vodka in the sink.

seth shimmied up next to alice.

"OH MY GOD ALICE YOU MISSED SO MUCH!" he screamed.

"shut the fuck up bitch" she said as she decked him. seth fell to ther floor and DIED!

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why is this so fun to write. also in never gonna remeber to update this so have fun with that ig.
also i need ideas of what to put in this story so please help. please.