The Strongest Stone

Chapter Seven

"Um, nothing, I don't remember. I need sleep the funeral is in a few hours."

"It didn't sound like nothing."

I buried my head into the pillow and pulled the blankets tight around my body. Was he purposely trying to make this more mortifying for me? "I mean you were crying in your sleep Charlie."

Crying. I'd only been crying. I relaxed and closed my eyes. "I'm just emotional Lucas. I'm drained. I can't even forget when I'm asleep."

Lucas moved over and wrapped his arm around my waist over top of the blanket. "We have to live through our grief Charlie, it doesn't go away, it just gets easier somehow."

I didn't answer, I was too scared I would say something that would make him walk away again. I couldn't handle his rejection again. I fell asleep and thankfully no x rated dreams played in my head. When I woke up Lucas was up. I glanced at the time. It was still early, the funeral was still three hours away. I tried to pretend that it wasn't happening, that the minute I walked out the door reality wouldn't smack me in the face, but I knew that it was happening today was the last goodbye. I sat up and looked over at the chair. The dress I had taken from Mom's wardrobe hung over it.

I walked out of the bedroom and in to the kitchen. The kids were eating breakfast and Lucas was making coffee. "Morning." He smiled holding out a cup.

"Morning."

"Mommy used to kiss daddy in the morning." Archie smiled. "Will you guys?"

I looked at Lucas and let out a sigh. This seemed wrong, the lying, the pretending to be a couple. It was going to bite us in the butt, I could feel it. I stepped forward and placed a peck on Lucas' lips. "Thanks for the coffee." I smiled walking over to the table. I looked at Ana and clenched my jaw. She gave me an apologetic look, but I ignored it. Today wasn't about me, this fake relationship or my very real feelings for Lucas. It was about my parents, and the kids.

After breakfast we all got ready. Ana recognised the dress the minute I walked into the lounge wearing it. She smiled and pulled me in for a hug. "Mom would have love to have seen you in a dress." She tried to laugh, but through her tears it sounded more like a gargle.

"Hush Ana, don't cry, you'll ruin your make up and we haven't left yet."

She nodded and wiped her eyes.

The funeral had more people than I had expected, mostly old friends and workmates. I spoke, holding myself together long enough to get out the speech I had written. Ana spoke, as did Thomas, Archie and Cassie just placed their pictures on the caskets. Lucas spoke, after all he'd known them too. His speech was moving, almost to the point of not being able to hold myself together any longer, but I did it. I managed to hold everything in through the singing, and the wake and dinner that night. I managed to smile as I put the kids to bed and as I said good night to Thomas and Ana. I managed to shower and I managed to climb in to bed.

And then I fell apart. I cried until my stomach hurt and the tears ran out, and even then I kept crying. I tried to stop when Lucas walked in, but I couldn't. I was broken. He climbed under the blankets and yanked me into his arms. "I knew you were holding back. All day it was like you had a concrete wall around you."