The Strongest Stone

Chapter Eleven

When I woke Lucas' fingertips were grazing across my hairline. My eyes flickered open and met his. My discovery was still fresh in my mind and it darkened everything around me.

"Morning." He smiled, and then, for a fleeting moment I forgot everything.

"Morning."

"I have work today. I was thinking since the kids are all at day care and school we could have lunch together."

I smiled back at him and nodded. "Okay."

He kissed me on the head and sat up. "I'd better get up and get ready. I'll get the kids ready, you take your time."

"Oh, you don't have to do that."

"I want to. Okay?"

"Fine." I conceded.

Lucas was up and dressed within a few minutes. The joy of owning his own shop meant that he didn't have to wear a uniform. I on the other hand still had to dry clean mine so it would be ready for work tomorrow night.

I relaxed into the bed and tried to go back to sleep, but without Lucas there to distract me I couldn't help but dwell on the letter. I looked beside the bed. It still sat there face down. I picked it up and let my eyes read over the words once more. They wanted him, he had worked hard for this amazing opportunity and he was letting it go because of me and the kids. It seemed wrong to let him throw it away, but the selfish part of me seemed at least partly willing to ignore it because I didn't want to be without him. I leaned back across the bed and stuffed the letter inside the nightstand drawer. Right now the old cliché, out of sight out of mind meant everything to my heart and my sanity.

I forced myself out of bed despite feeling exhausted. The late shifts hadn't become any easier but I liked spending the morning with my brothers and sisters before they left for the day. We were all each other had now.

I walked into the kitchen and Lucas had all of the ingredients for pancakes out. A rush of guilt came over me. I'd promised Cassie we'd make pancakes before preschool. I looked at Lucas who was sipping on a cup of coffee. The kids were already at the table eating.

"Morning." I mumbled walking over to the table. "Hey Cass, you didn't wait for me?" I smiled bending down beside her. She looked at me as she popped a blueberry into her mouth.

"Ana said to let you and Lucas sleep. So we made them." Thomas said softly. "Aye Cass."

Cassie grinned and nodded while eating a mouthful of food.

I looked up at Ana who smiled. "We made you some too."

"Thank you." I replied standing up.

I wasn't hungry, the midnight feast of sushi was still prominent in my stomach; or maybe it was the appetite killer of a letter hiding in my bedside drawer.

I walked across the kitchen and stopped in front of Lucas. He placed his coffee down on the bench and enclosed me in his arms. "I will never get tired of this." He murmured. I held back a scoff, I wasn't as sure. I frowned against his chest, no matter how hard I tried I wasn't going to be able to let this go.

The older kids caught the bus and Lucas took Alfie and Cassie on his way to work. I spent the morning alone in the house. In college I had loved the sound of silence. Granted dorms weren't known for quiet, but the noise was different there. Now I was home being left in silence gave me too much time to think. In the space of weeks everything had changed, and while some of it was amazing; the bulk of it had shattered my heart until all that was left now was dust.

I caught the bus in to the town centre just before lunch. I hadn't been near the music shop since I had been back. Like many other things here, it held so many memories of Lucas and I. There were times when we had just hung out in the shop together, sitting among the instruments. I hadn't really learned to play much more than what Lucas had taught me, but there was a certain ambience that made me feel home when was there. It hadn't changed much, Lucas had changed the posters in the shop window, and the sign on the sidewalk was new; but apart from that it was the same old music store I remembered. I walked inside, the door hit the bell as I entered which momentarily garnered the attention of some of the workers. I recognised most of them, and most of the customers too. Lucas had a particular clientele, and it had always been that way.