Arcade Lover

Chapter 20

For the next few occasions, Rosé heads back to the arcade to test her luck in finding Lisa. It wasn't only until five days after meeting Jisoo for the first time that she manages to find the time to come clean when the blonde arrives unexpectedly with the intention of crying to Jisoo about how rusty she's been feeling.

Lisa hears her apology out, but ignores it because it didn't matter anymore. She knew the platinum blondie was lying in the first place anyway. Her mind had furthermore been more preoccupied with the suffocating fact that she and Jennie were still on bad terms after three weeks.

Jennie hasn't replied her texts from a month ago, and hasn't made the time out to call her to resolve their issues either. She wanted to be the bigger person, but she constantly recalls a line she's said to Jennie.

'Come back to me when you're ready to do so.'

She wanted to give Jennie the liberty of choice. She wanted to see if the brunette would also take the initiative for them in their relationship. After all, Lisa has feelings too.

But she was losing hope.

She hadn't seen Jennie for a month now including their 'break week'.

Lisa fights the urge to just pick up the damn phone and dial her girlfriend's number, or barge straight into her home but her head tells her not to give in as she's always been doing.

She hates that she barely has any clue as to what Jennie has been up to the past month, well, because she was her girlfriend for fuck sake. The last time she saw her— the day of their argument, the brunette was bawling her eyes out and there wasn't a single moment or sight where she looked at all fine to Lisa.

"This must be a sign I should move on." She mumbles carelessly, leaning on the counter where Jisoo was back on her shift for work at the arcade during midnight again, the examination period all over for them. There were no more assignments. At least Lisa could wail and sob now without including the thought of stress from work.

Lisa's eyes were puffy— Jisoo would've thought she got stung by a bee if it wasn't for the situation with Jennie.

"And I think otherwise," The chestnut hair girl replies harshly, tapping the tip of her fingers thrice on the table to try and snap her best friend out of her depressive state, "You can't just give up like that. It's at times like these where you have to get your shit together and do better, pick yourself up. I know a month is draining and tedious but has it ever occurred to you Jennie is probably having it as hard as you too?"

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? Cause if you had nothing nice to say to me you could've just kept your mouth shut, or beat me up till I passed out so I can't think about her. At least validate my fucking feelings, Chu. And I hope she's hurting too, because that would show that she cares."

Jisoo pursed her lips together to resist a frown, because seeing Lisa physically and mentally tuckered out made her feel the same.

"Maybe you should try calling her."

"And let her think I'm easy because I'll always come running after her like I did in the past although I didn't even know what I did wrong? I still don't entirely know what I did wrong, but- I'm guessing it's the fact that I'm with Rosé at the bookstore occasionally whenever I'm there and she has her doubts about me cheating on her. But I'm not. And if I call her first, that would just mean I'm nothing but gullible-fucking bullshit. I want to see that she cares about me too, I want to see her value this relationship. I just want her to initiate things for once, why is it so hard?"

It seems as if everything Lisa said was right, so Jisoo couldn't disagree with her. She was speechless.

"Maybe this is just my complex speaking, but I shouldn't be feeling like shit because of anyone. I shouldn't be all down and depressed or start doubting myself because of a girl, because I never used to doubt myself for anything. When you start to doubt yourself, you become pessimistic. And I don't want to be pessimistic because I don't want to lose faith in myself, or lose my confidence. Months ago, I wouldn't have pegged myself to be in a state like this because I'm supposed to be happier than everyone else, and better. I shouldn't be crying over her, Jisoo. I shouldn't be crying over anyone! But here I am, my complex completely shattered. Like why am I even letting her hurt me like this?"