Fear turns to Love

Chapter one: Outcasted

A/N: This chapter takes place before the events of Sanders sides. This chapter at least. Enjoying the first chapter.

For years Virgil has been an outcast from the core sides. He has tried to get close to them but something has always stopped them from getting close. Whether it was fear from Morality. As Morality thought he would hurt Thomas if they allowed him into the table discussions. Or into their family. Princey would always threaten him whenever he came to their side of the mindscape. Which really scared Virgil. He did like the prince just with how he looked but his personality. He had to admit that Princey's personality needed time to show who he really was. He just hoped he would get the chance to see it. Hopefully he will someday. Then there was Logic. Who no matter how hard Virgil tried to understand and keep logic in the conversation when trying to bond with the logical side. He would always get annoyed with the one word answers he got. He did make the mistake of talking to Logic while he was reading though. So that was his fault. He understood why he got one word answers from him a lot. He still felt unwanted though. He wanted a better family than he had now. A family that understood his problems. Who wouldn't bother him for wanting to be alone in his room. A family that actually got him. He was sick of the dark sides now. He was getting tired of being in their family after everything that has happened now. Virgil just wanted an escape from it all. He wanted to be on the good side now. He didn't want to be seen as a bad trait anymore.

He sighed as he appeared in his room. He looked at the picture of him, Janus, Remus, and Julius sitting on his oak wood desk. He growled as he glared at it. He hated the picture now. Once a perfect family. Now an imperfect one full of lies and tricks. Full of gross stuff and violence. Something Virgil didn't like at all. As his past was just as bad with it and he hated being lied to and tricked. He hated that almost every week he would get mauled by some creature Remus made. He hated being tricked into fights with Julius. He wanted it all to stop now. But no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get that through to Janus to get him to change anything with their family in the dark scape. All he got was a he'll talk about it with Julius. Even though he knew Janus had more power than Julius. Or so he thinks. He went over to the desk ready to be done with this mindscape. He grabbed the picture frame, grinding his teeth as he did so. He looked at it closely. He noticed how happy they were when he first joined them here and when he first came to the mindscape. How happy Janus was to teach him and raise him as his own son. How excited Remus was to have a new brother. But he always felt unwanted by Julius from the beginning. And that made his blood boil. Because of him his family was fractured now. He just wanted to fix his family. But he hasn't been able to for years now. He screamed as he threw the picture at the wall. The picture frame broke once it hit the wall. Then it hit the ground breaking the glass. Virgil panted as he fell to his knees sitting on them as he caught his breath.

He sighed as he appeared in his room. He looked at the picture of him, Janus, Remus, and Julius sitting on his oak wood desk. He growled as he glared at it. He hated the picture now. Once a perfect family. Now an imperfect one full of lies and tricks. Full of gross stuff and violence. Something Virgil didn't like at all. As his past was just as bad with it and he hated being lied to and tricked. He hated that almost every week he would get mauled by some creature Remus made. He hated being tricked into fights with Julius. He wanted it all to stop now. But no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get that through to Janus to get him to change anything with their family in the dark scape. All he got was a he'll talk about it with Julius. Even though he knew Janus had more power than Julius. Or so he thinks. He went over to the desk ready to be done with this mindscape. He grabbed the picture frame, grinding his teeth as he did so. He looked at it closely. He noticed how happy they were when he first joined them here and when he first came to the mindscape. How happy Janus was to teach him and raise him as his own son. How excited Remus was to have a new brother. But he always felt unwanted by Julius from the beginning. And that made his blood boil. Because of him his family was fractured now. He just wanted to fix his family. But he hasn't been able to for years now. He screamed as he threw the picture at the wall. The picture frame broke once it hit the wall. Then it hit the ground breaking the glass. Virgil panted as he fell to his knees sitting on them as he caught his breath.

Janus sighed in relief as he saw Virgil was okay. He was very worried that Virgil had hurt himself coming back home. He hoped that Virgil wouldn't go back to the core sides after the first time the anxious side went. He thought wrong though. As Virgil has gone back to the core sides several times now. Each time he wasn't treated like one of them though. The anxious side was treated like an outcast. Which was making him very upset. He hated it so much. He just wanted them to accept him. But Janus and Remus knew it wouldn't happen. They were dark sides. They were evil. At least that's what the core sides thought. But they were wrong about that. They weren't evil. They were just sides that made up flaws of the host they have. So they are Thomas's flaws. The core sides couldn't see that though. Not since the incident with Remus and Janus. Which brought a damper to Janus's mood again as he hated that day a lot. The deceitful side shook his head pushing those thoughts to the back of his mind before he could think more about it. He looked at Virgil hoping the anxious side was truly okay. " Are you alright Virgil? I heard a bang. Then glass shatters." Janus asked, wondering what happened when Virgil came back to his room. Virgil winced knowing that was really bad. He knew if Janus saw the broken picture frame the yellow cladded side would be heartbroken by the sight of it. He's done it before to him. He didn't want to do it again. It really hurt both of them the first time it happened. The last time they didn't talk for a week. Virgil didn't like that at all. They both promised never to let it happen again. It hasn't happened yet. But they both feared that it might.

" Yes I'm fine Jan. Just let my anger get the better of me. I'm sorry I worried you." Virgil replied, trying not to give away what he was hiding from Janus. He had forgotten though that Janus can recognize that. Which the half snake side did. He knew all the signs of Virgil hiding things from him. " Virgil, what made that noise? What are you hiding, little spider?" Janus asked, wondering what Virgil was hiding from him. Virgil groaned at the nickname that Janus had used for him. Little Spider. It's been a nickname the older side used since the younger side first showed off his animal trait. Which was a spider. He loved that he was but the nickname was embarrassing now that he was older. He wasn't a three year old anymore. He was physically eighteen now but as old as Thomas. Janus was surprised by the groan not expecting. Virgil loved that nickname. Janus knew he did. So the groan was very shocking to him. He frowned as he waited for Virgil to answer him. " It's nothing, Janus. Everything is fine. I just punched the wall and knocked over a lamp. It's fine, I'm getting it cleaned up now." The anxious side exclaimed, hoping Janus would believe him. Because if he didn't Virgil knew he would be in big trouble with him. For lying to Janus. Which was bad for him and he knew not to do it because Janus knew when he was lying no matter what. Then the next thing. Hiding something he did out of anger and breaking something that Janus thought was special to Virgil. Which Virgil didn't want because he knew Janus would lecture him for one. And for two he would be sent to Remus's side of the imagination to spend the night in the tower. Virgil really didn't want that as the tower really terrified him at night time. Plus the wolves and other creatures would be watching him walk through the forest as he went there. It was very creepy to Virgil. He tries to avoid it at all costs. No matter what he does.

But he seemed to have tricked Janus into believing what he said happened. Which was a shock to him. Janus hummed in agreement, happy that Virgil was okay. " Alright. If you need help cleaning let me know. Dinner will be ready in an hour so do whatever you want in the meantime." Janus said knowing Virgil was lying to him deep down but tried to ignore it. He didn't want to believe it. He didn't like Virgil lying to him. Just like how he didn't like lying to others and Virgil himself. Ignoring it was easier for Janus. It gave him hope that Virgil wouldn't leave them behind. He feared that this is why Virgil was trying to be friends with the core sides. So he can leave him. He wouldn't blame Virgil for leaving. Their family was not what Virgil and Janus thought it was. It never had been. Janus shielded Virgil from the worst of it for as long as he could. But that wasn't for very long. Seven years he was able to shield him from the bad things Julius had done to Remus and him. It wasn't long before he went after Virgil and Janus wasn't there to help him. The deceitful shook his head pushing the bad thoughts away before walking away to the kitchen to work on dinner. Once Janus was gone Virgil sighed letting out the breath he didn't know he was holding in. He shut the door and went over to the broken picture frame on the floor. He kneels down and looks at it. The glass was just shattered which to him was good. It wasn't all over the floor or poking into the picture which would damage the photo inside. Virgil teared up as he picked up the broken picture frame. He looked at the shattered glass. It was cracked perfectly in the center of the photo. That was where Virgil was standing. In between Janus and Remus who were holding him close to themselves. It made Virgil smile as he teared up. He knew what he had to do now but he didn't know if he could do it. But he had to do it for his own safety. He just hoped Janus and Remus would forgive him someday.