You Were My Everything [COMPLETED]

A Very Different First Time

Rosé POV

One morning, I woke up to the emptiness of my own sheets. I cuddled my blanket and laid on my side, thinking back to the night at Asa's place. It was unbelievable to think anyone could make me feel as good as he did. The feeling was completely different but was it because it was my first time in a while?

I wondered how Asa felt about it. I left in the morning but I was too ashamed to even stay for long after waking up. I rushed out of his house and drove home right away, ignoring all the regret I had for leaving so fast. He looked even hotter in the morning after sex and I couldn't even enjoy it.

It's been about two days now and I haven't seen him or contacted him. I was chickening out again but that's only because I got so nervous to think of talking to him. What do people usually say after having sex for the first time? I haven't had this sex-dazed feeling in months and I felt so inexperienced. Maybe this anxiety was trying to tell me something. Maybe I wasn't ready for a relationship after all because if I was, I would've easily had the courage to call him over.

Yeah, that's right. I really shouldn't be dating anyone right now. I was still recently divorced and as the scandals were now under control, I shouldn't be sleeping around with Asa. If it went on, I'd only disappoint him. My ex husband was really disappointed with me to find out we couldn't have children and I expected Asa to feel the same way. Asa loved Areum like his own daughter and to tell another man I couldn't have his baby would make me even more frustrated at myself. Maybe in another life, I can have Asa, but for this one, I wasn't allowed to be selfish like that.

I grabbed my pillow and hit my face with it repeatedly. Why was I feeling like this? Was this what it felt like to be single?

I sat up and reached for my phone on the nightstand. I still had an hour before my work schedule but since I was awake, I might as well go early to take my mind off of things. It wasn't like I have anything better to do.

After ending work a little later today, I called Jisoo. She said she had to work overtime today because there was a big surgery she needed to prepare for at the hospital. Then I called Jennie, and she told me the law firm was on the verge of a financial crisis and she needed to work it out with her superiors. Lastly, I called Lisa and she was in the dance studio. One of her students asked her to perfect their dance performance so she was preoccupied for the rest of the week too. The only other person I thought to call was Asa, then I remembered there was Tony so I called him instead. Shortly after, he arrived in front of my apartment building to pick me up.

Getting into the car, I saw that he was back to white dress shirts.

"Rough day?" he asked as we drove off.

"Something like that," I replied, not wanting to think of Asa when I was with Tony. "And you? There's no work party for tonight?"

"There is, but I'd rather be with you than my drunk coworkers," he smiled.

"How sweet. I'm honoured."

"If I had to choose, of course I'd pick you, Rosé. There's no doubt about it. You're much more interesting and much more attractive."

"Well if you found your coworkers attractive, that could lead you into some trouble," I added, making him laugh gently.

"That's true too. But no, there's just no one who compares to you. You're the muse of Saint Laurent and I'm sure everyone in the world can agree you're gorgeous," he said. His eyes were on the road but when from his voice, I knew he was serious.