THE BIG BANG (Leonard x Sheldon)

The Penis Approximation

It was a long day for Sheldon Cooper. 

"What a day" he said, as he walked up the dilapidated stairs to his apartment, where he knew he would have his best friend of many years, Leonard Hofstadter waiting for him.

"What a treat!" He thought. "Coming home to see Leonard makes everything worth it"

The truth is, Sheldon loved Leonard. Although he had had intercourse with Amy many times before, he could never get the thought of Leonard out of his head while he was pounding away. Amy could never satisfy him like he new Leonard would. And as much as he tried to hide his feelings for him, he always suspected that he knew. His love for him was too strong.

Tired and weary, but elated with the thought of getting to see his best friend again, he walked up to the door of his apartment, and took out his rusty set of keys. 

He unlocked the door.

He opened it, and took one step into the apartment before stopping dead in his tracks.

Sitting there was who else, but Leonard Hofstadter, completely naked, on their greasy sofa that Sheldon and Stuart had shared many passionate nights on.

"I-" Sheldon began to say. Leonard was perched on the sofa with all sorts of scientific apparatus around him. A state of the art experimental nanometre ruler from CalTech was in his hand, and wrapped around his comically small member.

"Sheldon! I didn't know you where back so early!" Leonard yelped in shock, desperately trying to cover himself up, knocking over his rows of mechanical and scientific devices onto the floor.

"You started without me?"

"Sheldon I'm so sorry."

"I thought we where friends. I talked about getting an exact measurement of our genitals in nanometres for months now - And you do this?"

"Look, Sheldon, I'm sorry. I was bored okay? And I wanted to just - test out the ruler." 

Sheldon let out a deep sigh. He knew he couldn't blame him. Truth is, he'd measured his genitals many a time with the ruler. To berate Leonard for using it would by hypocritical - and he knew that any man such as himself would want to use it. Howard had begged him for weeks to use it - and he denied him every time.

"Maybe I'm  being too harsh - I could understand why you wanted to use it Leonard. It's okay."

Sheldon's disappointed gaze met with Leonard's cock and bollocks. Not much to measure, he thought.

The lanky physicist walked over to the smashed apparatus on the ground. As he leant down to pick it up, he got an eyeful of Leonards pitifully small penis and balls.

Leonard knew what he was thinking by the look on his face. "I'm a grower - not a shower" he said to him.

"W-what do you mean?" said Sheldon, looking up to Leonard. "What are you suggesting?"

"That we do the experiment for real this time Sheldon. Think about it - nobody has ever done this before - You might get the Nobel prize! But for that... we need it to be at it's... 'full potential' per se..."

Sheldon gulped. Was this the moment he had been waiting for, for so long?

"Bazinga?"

The small goblin man stood up. He turned out the lights.

TRANSITION 

"Oh Leonard" Sheldon moaned

"Oh Sheldon" Leonard moaned

*Laugh Track*

It was pitch black in their shitty apartment - but Sheldon could sure feel everything. Amy had never been able to satisfy him like this. Leonards girth was truly an unexplainable pleasure, and one that he was enjoying every last nanometre of. Although Sheldon had a IQ of 187, and was infinitely more knowledgeable then the average man - this was worth more than any of that to him.

"Oh Sheldon" Leonard moaned

"Oh Leonard" Howard moaned

There was suddenly a silence in the room. The springs of the sofa stopped creaking away. This had just gotten a lot more intense.

"Howard?" Sheldon gasped "How did you get in here?" he said, as he began feeling around for him in the sea of darkness.

"Raj let me in" Howard exclaimed in amusement. 

"Raj?" Leonard cried out

"Yep! I thought you guys wouldn't mind a bit of company" said the nerdy Indian man from somewhere underneath Howard.

"Not at all!" Leonard said. "Now lets get this show back on the road!"

TRANSISTION

The four men lay next to each other on the sofa, each looking very happy with themselves. The night they had just spent together, exploring each others bodies was nothing short of orgasmic.

"We should do this again sometime" Raj stated with a satisfied smile on his face.

A pleased Sheldon turned to him "I'll be 'right behind you' buddy!"

The group of sweaty men laughed.

"Anyway, I think we should go our separate ways - we've all got comic con in a couple hours, and we don't want to miss that!" uttered Howard.

"No I don't think we would." remarked Sheldon. "I'll see you guys later"

A few minutes later, Sheldon sat alone, still tired from all the pop culture references he made while getting shafted.

"Bazinga!"

END OF PART 1

i hate my fucking life