Jisung hates the way he feels after his panic attacks. Even as he walks out of his therapist's office and into the cool, evening air; he feels like complete shit. He hates himself for not having that control and he knows it's irrational. But he can't help it. He hates it and he hates himself for it.
As he sits and rests on the couch, he gently kicks off his shoes. The library was the first place he thought to go and he's not sure why. He's not sure when it became a sort of comfort palace for him all of sudden. He saw the spot Minho took him to before was empty and quiet and took advantage of it. When his phone rings, Jisung lets out a soft sigh. He looks a the caller I.D. Felix.
"Yeah?" Jisung answers quietly.
"Hey, Jisungie," Felix greets, his voice softer than usual. This is always the tone his friend uses after Jisung has his therapy sessions. "How're you feeling?"
"Like shit."
"I imagine so...I know how you get after sessions," he lets out a sigh. "Dance class just got out."
"Ah..."
"All the guys really missed you...I think even Minho," he giggles.
"Sure," Jisung scoffs and leans his cheek against the leathery couch. He didn't tell Felix or anyone else about his sudden attack in class. That's not a huge deal but he also didn't say a word about Minho. Just like the green tea, he wants to keep that memory of reciting poetry to himself.
"I mean it! Minho kept glancing over at your empty spot when he didn't think anyone was looking!" Felix insists. "But you know; eyes like a hawk. He even asked where you were," he pauses. "It was more of a 'Jisung isn't here?' and that's it."
Jisung's cheeks grow warm at the idea of that. "What...did you tell him?"
"What I told everyone else; I just said that every Monday you have a personal matter you deal with."
"Thanks."
"I know you don't like telling people."
Jisung stares out into the park and bites his lip in thought. "Lix, is...Minho still there?"
"Hmm?" His friend pauses. "Yeah, he is. Why?"
"In the changing room with you?"
"Yeah?"
"...Give him my number and tell him to text me." Jisung surprised even himself. It's not too late for him to backtrack. But he doesn't.
A brief moment of silence. "What?"
"Give Minho my number and tell him to text me. Please."
Felix laughs in disbelief. "You want me to write your number down, walk right up to Minho, and give it to him? I can't...huh?" He can hear muffled talking. "Oh, um...it's nothing huge; Jisung wants me to give you his number and have you text him." More pauses. "Yeah, I'm on the phone with him now." Someone says something again. "What? All of a sudden...? Yeah, okay." Jisung waits, unsure what's going on. "O-oh okay. See you on Wednesday, Minho," Felix calls out. "...That was weird."
"What? What happened? What'd Minho want?"
"I guess he heard me say his name so I told him and then he handed me his phone all of a sudden," he explains. "He told me to just make a new contact, so I did...and then he just left."
"Why would he-" he's interrupted by the sound of his text going off. Furrowing his brows, he checks it. It's from an unknown number. "Can I call you back, Lix?"
"Sure. When are you going back to the dorm?"
"Hmm? I don't know, maybe in a bit. See you later," Jisung mumbles before hanging up. He stares at his screen before bringing up the message.
