EMLYN | 18+

Chapter Seven

I yanked my hand away from him, cradling it to my chest. I could feel my erratic heartbeat and knew that I needed to get as far away from him as possible. Did I need to get farther away or closer to him? I couldn't figure it out and I honestly did not want to.

I could feel him staring at the side of my face but I refused to look away from the windshield. What had I gotten myself into by stepping into the car? I was already starting to regret my decision.

"Why is it so hard for you to put a little trust in me?" He wouldn't understand.  He wouldn't get that it wasn't him I didn't trust, but everyone in general - especially myself. I didn't trust myself to keep my guard up at all times around him. How would I see if anything was off?

"It's not about you." Though I spoke, I still couldn't look away from the window. "I don't even know you."

"You haven't given me the opportunity to know you, so enlighten me on what this is about, please." I couldn't enlighten him. That would mean talking about memories I'd pushed to the deepest part of my mind. The ones I vowed to myself to never bring up.

I reluctantly brought my eyes to his and regretted it the moment I did. All the thoughts I pushed back over the months got pushed to the front of my mind as I looked at him. It was one thing to see him on tv and hear women fawn over him, but after realizing that he was what was seen as fine as fuck - what Tessa's friends had used to describe him - I was suddenly a bit nervous in his presence.

Was it a good nervous or a bad one? I was yet to figure it out. I brought my hand to scratch at my scalp in frustration looking away, "I- I can't do this. I just-"

My eyes widened as he grabbed my hand and turned me back to face him. "Calm down, please. It's just me."

"I know who you are. The entire country knows who you are."

He shook his head at my words, "I'm just me. The random man who stumbled on you and decided to help. I want you to be comfortable with me."

The idea of being comfortable with another man after Sam just seemed bizarre. I finally got a chance to analyze the 'relationship' I'd been in and how it morphed into something manipulative and toxic—something I never wanted to be involved in again.

His eyes narrowed, dark orbs seeming to be calculating my every move. I needed to get away.

The tears gathering in my eyes didn't register fully until his hand slipped into my hair and I felt the pad of his thumb swipe at my cheek. "Why are you crying? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." I could do nothing but shake my head. I wanted to tell him it wasn't his fault, that I was just broken beyond repair to the point where mere words triggered me, but I couldn't.

Selfishly, I didn't want to turn away the man who was probably the only reason I was still alive. I wanted to thank him and apologize for stealing his clothes because the memory weighed heavy on my heart.

"Have you already eaten?" My head shook again, words unable to leave my lips pulled into my mouth in an attempt to stop the sobbing. His hand in my hair scratched at my scalp and the action made me want to melt against him. "Will you have dinner with me? My apology for saying the wrong thing."

His words made a wave of fresh tears appear and I blinked them away quickly. I couldn't decipher the emotion that was blooming in my chest. For once it wasn't fear, and that was good enough for me. "Dinner is fine."

He moved back to the wheel and, after wiping the tear streaks from my cheeks, turned his wipers on before he continued to the restaurant. This time, his hand fell above my knee rubbing softly against my jeans and I tried not to stare at it as he drove.