DARKNESS IS LIGHT

Chapter 25

LUCIANO

I yelled throwing the glass of whiskey at the wall and watched as it shattered and fell unto the same spot Kelsey peed herself that day.

Fuck.

Every fucking thing reminds me of her these days. Every damn thing.

It's been a whole fucking month since that Russian dipshit took her from me.

One whole month and I haven't slept properly for one night. She keeps haunting my dreams.

She's gone and it's fucking killing me.

All your fault bro.

"I know it's all my fault but I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." I answered to myself.

Don't tell that to me. Tell it to her. 

I sunk into the corner holding my head in my hands.

"What the fuck is wrong with me."

I honestly don't know. You are one fucked up motherfucker.

"Fuck you." I cursed at myself.

I began laughing hysterically. "Now I'm going crazy. Having open conversations with a voice in my head."

I really fucked up. I had the most beautiful girl and I just treat her like shit. Now she's gone and there's nobody to blame but me.

I sighed as the door swung open and Enzo stomped in.

"What the fuck is wrong with you bro. Pull your shit together." He yelled, pulling me up for the floor.

"Fuck off." I brushed his hand off and he released his hold on my shirt collar.

I heard him scoff as I stumbled over to my chair.

"You can't keep sitting here and drinking your sorrows away Luciano." He grumbled at me. "That's not going to bring her back."

I burped a bit as the alcohol rose in my chest and my heart clenched as my mind wandered back to that dinner I had with Kelsey.

I'm a fuck up.

"It's no use Enzo, she doesn't want me." I said in a pitiful voice. "She's probably have to time of her life with Vladimir."

I fucking despise that man.

I loathe him.

I still can't believe we were holding him the whole time while he had another man impersonating him. All as a plan to infiltrate us.

Smartass.

"And who's fault is that brother? You were the one who treated her like shit." He yelled at me and I shrunk in guilt.

"I said I was sorry and I didn't mean to. I was angry and she was being so disrespectful." I grumbled.

"It's not me you should be apologizing to. It's her she was the one you hurt Luciano. And although you might think this, but what our father did to you when we were growing up doesn't justify your actions towards Kelsey. He beat you up when he was angry, that doesn't mean you beat on her when you're angry. Control yourself." He lectured while sitting down in the seat before me.

"I know I know but it's ju...." He cut me off before I could finish.

"I don't want to hear any buts Luciano. He beat me too but you don't see me hurting Valeria. You know why? Because if I were to ever raise my hand at her it'd only remind me of that day we watched father beat mama to death." I could hear his voice cracking and my heart clenched at the memory.

I looked down at my hand beneath the table, slowly turning the ring she'd given to us a week before she died.

I miss her.

But she'd have been so disappointed in me if she were alive. After all, I did the same thing to Kelsey that my father did to her.

"Don't become the same man you were hell bent on getting rid of." Was all I heard from my brother before he slammed the door.

I was left alone to bask in my pathetic guilt once more.

I deserved this shame. I deserved the pain. It was my karma because the only thing I caused her since she'd been here was pain. So now that it's being reciprocated I shouldn't complain.

Maybe she's better off with Vladimir. Maybe she'll be happy now that I can't cause her anymore anguish.

That's all I do anyway. I only take from people's lives and cause them turmoil.

She's better without me. I should just let it go.

Fuck no. I'm not that Elsa girl.

There is no way in hell I'm going to let her go. I want her.

I need her.

I might not be able to give her the love and affection she needs.

But I can learn.

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Guys my boy Luciano had a few words to say. Please don't be mean, he's already feeling a lot of emotions. ❣️❣️

I couldn't close off without hearing from my boi. Soooo triple update.

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