𝐁𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐠𝐨 𝐎𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

🍰💥| Cooking w/ my boyfriend

Ship : satobaku (i love rarepairs 😩)

Au : youtuber au

Katsuki makes a video with Sato for youtube. <3

(sorry if there's any grammatical/spelling errors)

♡

     The camera zooms in on Katsuki, as he tries to fix the focus. Offscreen his cameraman, Fumikage, laughs his ass off. You see, Katsuki thinks he's all high and mighty and believes he doesn't need Fumikage so they made a bet; If Katsuki can last 24 hours without asking Fumikage to do a single thing, Fumikage must buy him the latest BTS album. Yes, Katsuki is a hardcore BTS stan. After five long minutes, he finally sets up the camera. 

     "Hey fuckers, it's Kat here and as you can see, I'm not in my usual setup. Congragulations..you have eyes. Anyway today I'm here with my fucking  boyfriend- yes, I have a fucking boyfriend, and his name is Sato." Sato sheepishly blushes, and shyly waves at the camera. "Hi.." He mumbles, letting Katsuki take over. "Okay, so today- Sato is teaching me how to fucking cook because I can barely make myself a cup of water. So, babe, what are we making today?" Sato clears his throat, his poor hands shaking- "W-were making Mediterranean Shrimp Kabobs" Katsuki nods, before turning back to the camera. "Or in other words..rich people food. Anyways, fuckers, let's start."

     After a swift transition, the angle changes to their hands, as Sato is helping Katsuki peel the shrimp. "THIS IS SO FUCKING DISGUSTING HOW DO PEOPLE TOUCH THIS ON A FUCKING DAILY?!" He screeches- Fumikage cackles off-screen before the screen cuts and we switch to Katsuki sitting in time out for behaving like a five year old on Sunny D and steroids that didn't get the toy he wanted at a cheap Walmart. Oh boy...this is going to be a long video. Sato continues cooking as Katsuki has 5 minutes left of time out. And you might be asking, does a 25 year old man really need a time out? And the answer is yes. 

     "Kat can you fetch me the sticks?" Sato asks politely, Katsuki hisses but does as he's told. "Ah, thank you my love," Sato smiles, grabbing the sticks from Katsuki's hand and kissing him on the cheek. "Oh my fucking god- that was adorable. He doesn't deserve you, Sato-" Said a simping Fumikage from the background. "SHUT THE FU-" the video cuts off, and the infamous 'technical difficulties' screen pops up, and...we're back. Sato starts finalizing the last steps in his dish as Katsuki watches in awe. "Okay- I'm done!" Exclaims Sato, showing off his masterpiece to the camera. "Okay, now birdbitch is going to try it." Katsuki grabs Fumikage, pulls him onscreen, and shoves the Kabob in his mouth, the poor birdman is now choking. Sato nervously walks over, trying his best to perform the heimlich maneuver on him. Fumikage coughs up the Kabob, stick and all, grabbign the nearest cup of water and chuugging it whilst breathing heavily. 

"WHAT THE FUCK BAKUTIDDIES?" He screams, walking over to the camera and turning it off. Katsuki, who's laughing his ass off, just shrugs. "You know you have to edit this, right? 'Cuz now I'm really not ghelping your ass and you're still not getting that album, broke bitch!" Baddie Fumikage walks off, leaving Katsuki in a state of despair. He can't even make a normal velocity edit, how can he edit a whole as video? Sato reassuringly squeezes his shoulder, praying for his boyfriend's sanity. 

♡

(bonus)

Katsuki groans tiredly, "Kat come back to bed, please, you can edit tomorrow." Sato says sleepily, "No, I have to post it tonight.." He sips his coffee, squinting his eyes at the brightness. "Please, love, come back to sleep." Sato begs, Katsuki sighs, closing his laptop. He crawls back into bed, and right into Satos arms. "Happy now, you big baby?" Sato nods, pulling the blonde closer to him. They cuddle and fall asleep <3