my book about poems

poems chapter 2

call it a hunch,but i thinkmy bedis stuck in a place of bygone my eyebags too deep towhat were the words again?my eyes too unfocused tolook in the mirror rightwho is that person again?my mind too entrenched in clouds towhere is my bed again?call it a hunch,but i think it's stuck in the floorboardsmy nails have painted red roses on the boardsover scratchmarksas i snare and scrape like a desperate animalto accessthe bed again

Bleek sleek and fast That dark horse so damn quick Cover the world so vastThe freedom feels like a trickAll these weaves and turns get me highI just feel like i'm flying and nothing can stop meWalk the line before you dieNothing but you makes me feel freeThe road rapid just like the carBut there is nothing more than you and the wheelIn the back of my mind knowing i will never be a starAll of this just seems too realBut I really don't seeBlinded by the bottleAnd yet I feel so freeBack then it was so simpleThe grip pulls me aroundThe confidence i have in thatOh my i'm so profound"Nah bro you are just fat"The pure power pulls me through the turnThe sound is like music of an abstract thoughtWhen all the sudden the rubber starts to burnThe brakes glow red hotMy freedom starts to leave my handsAnd the control leaves my finger tipsAs my machine moves out of my commandThe grip on the wheel slowly starts to slipsI know that nothing can make me fearThe background slowly becomes the foregroundI'm not afraid to die and that is clearWhat was there is now all aroundNothing is clear except that lightAnd i am fine to let goI'm not going to fightMy will to live is lowGoodbye friends, it was a pleasure.

I'm just a no one manYeah I try the best that I canBut I know deep inside there is nothing I can doBecause ever since I heard youI knew this life was a shamSo i'll drown my sorrows with the bottle and canThose blades cut deep for that flower to bloomI need you to see that I will be there soonThe voice like an angel or thoughts like a harpoonNot up to me anymore im at the mercy of the drawCuz turns out i'm nothing at allYeah im a no one man But do I do the best that i canIf it all ends up bad Then I guess i'll end up glad To end this life with no one in my armsNo I really didn't mean no harmSo I will cut my hair and change my nameEven though i know none of that will bring me fameCuz i'm a no one man No I don't try the best that I canCuz i'm a no one mani'm a no one manI just wish i could be happy for you

There was once a time when all i felt was joyI would play outside with all my toysThen something happenedBut now i'm just an "emo boy"Some shot where taken and some were firedAnd then there i was in the shade, tired And I lay there under the treeCuz i saw the war and felt inspiredI walk throughout these treesWeave in and out and you brought me to my kneesThere is no one like you It was then and there i decided my life my life to seesBut soon you left me, leaving me lostNot much i could do at whose costI knew you wouldn't stayTo add pain to injury all you could do is accostLeaving nothing but pain in your wakeSo i slammed on the brakeNo contact seems fineUntil you figure out everything was fakeYou can only pretend for so longIt hurt so bad when you were goneThere is nothing but the shadow where you stoodAnd yet i don't feel like i wonAnd now your back and i don't know what to feelOnce again it's my heart you will stealOh the lessons you learn when your youngDon't worry though time will healAlthough it's all for fun it still hurtsEveryone flocks for the one who flirtsAnd soon when my fist meets the concreteAll i can think is of problems i overt-that one time

Did you feel the stomachache,Did you feel the heartache,The wrenching mind-ache.The feeling that you are lost at sea,Looking in every directionWith the inability to find what you need.The sensation that you are losing your pride,Losing yourself to give,Handing parts of yourself around like it means nothing,Scattered pieces you can't reach for,A nebulous sight for who you are.Finding your worth seems more difficultThan giving yourself away.The dedication,Devotion,Fidelity,All wrapped up and gifted.Feeling like a homeless man,No food nor penny,Would give me the satisfactionOf receiving a 'home' like you.No love nor safety,Would give me the satisfactionOf receiving a 'home' like you.So open your eyes,Look through the cracks of your eyelids,For a fool is there,Open-handedly giving their all.—2019.