Feelings.
they creep up on me throughout my day
but when I need them, they vanish
when her screams echo in my ears, begging for a reaction, my face remains stony and not one tear falls
sometimes when screaming turns to slaps and scratches, I don't fight back for who would hit their mother?
even then, when I feel my tears bubbling, I force myself to stay cold
tears are a weakness I cannot show
let her scream
let her beat me to death
I will not be the one to show her I am hurting
she tells me she suffers because of me but I will not be the one to tell her:
I suffer more
the blood I spit in the sink as the aftermath does not compare to the blood leaking from my heart
black and venomous
poisoning me from the inside as I retreat further into myself
into the monster, I am now
she denies that she is the one who made me what i am now
her words and her anger
the anger I face every day
the anger that does little to faze me anymore
I have no shred of care left in this shrivelled up body of mine
I try time and time again to grasp at my humanity
but it lays just beyond my reach
nevillearts © 2021
YOU ARE READING
TRAGEDY LANE
Poesíamaybe i too am red for all the slaughter carried within me, bastard child of water, lake swelled with rotting fish. What are you searching for when you drag me from you? POETRY © nevillearts. 2022 cover . . . archaicpoets
