I LOVE YOU, BUT YOU'RE NOT MINE
Every Halloween, Camilla Wilson turns another year older. Another year of her life waiting for James Potter to love her.
[COMPLETED]
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THEY DECIDE TO HOLD OFF ON FOURTEEN FOR A FEW DAYS. Sirius insists they properly celebrate at Hogsmeade now that they can finally go. Camilla agrees that a change of scenery will be nice.
The weather is fine. It isn't raining nor snowing nor hot as all hell. It's just a chilly day in November. They have to wear thicker coats than normal. Camilla has a scarf around her neck and thick socks on because she's prone to shivering no matter the weather.
They enter The Three Broomsticks. "They" are Remus, Peter, Sirius, James, and Marlene. Mary is on a date but promised to meet them after lunch and Lily is with her friend Severus. Camilla doesn't like Severus very much. It seems no one else does either which makes Camilla feel less bad about it.
The Three Broomsticks is fairly busy. It makes sense since it's one of the only places to eat in Hogsmeade. She predicts it might take a while for their food to come out and that is fine with her.
"I hear this place is great. My sisters tell me it's all the rage." Peter says almost boastfully.
"Well it'd better be great. We don't really have a choice, do we?" Sirius rolls his eyes.
Camilla smiles. "I'm sure whatever it is will be way above the food they feed us at school every day."
A waitress comes over. She has bright red hair and a myriad of freckles across her pale skin.
"Can I get you all started with a round of butterbeers?" She asks, practically reading their minds.
Sirius nods enthusiastically. "Yes please."
"Lovely," she smiles and walks off.
Next to Camilla, James is getting hit in the ribs by Sirius' elbow. She's unsure why at first but hears Sirius mutter to him, "She's just your type, isn't she? Maybe she'll take a chance on you since Evans won't."
Camilla ignores it. Their boyish comments don't really impact her too much given how abundant they are.
The butterbeers come quickly and they order their meals. Camilla is unsure what to get but feels embarrassed trying to decide so she gets whatever James does. It's pathetic but she trusts him.
She was right to because it ended up being a wonderful meal. James pays for her as a birthday gift. Everything is going just wonderfully and Camilla feels she has found her new favorite place. She doesn't want to leave but they have to.
It's gotten colder since they went into The Three Broomsticks. Clouds have come to cover up the sun. They decide that Honeydukes should be their next stop. In front of the sweets shop are some boys. Amongst them is Sirius' younger brother, Regulus.
"Excuse us," Sirius sneers.
One of the boys who Camilla knows is called Yaxley scoffs and steps in front of Sirius.
"And what if we didn't?"
Sirius rolls his eyes. "Do you really want to find out?"
"What are you playing at? Do you think it's cool to just be a dick to people for no reason?" Camilla says. Her tolerance is very low for people like him. Normally she wouldn't snap at someone but it was her birthday celebration, damnit and she wanted Honeydukes.
"Don't you have a house to haunt or something?" Regulus teases.
"Come again?" Peter asks.
The boys chuckle and Camilla feels her face turn a horrible beat red from embarrassment.
"You haven't heard? Word on the street is that Camilla here is a friend of Myrtle. I mean, just look at her! I can't even make eye contact without thinking I've crossed over." Yaxley explains.
Camilla shakes her head. "You're not making - "
"You look dead. Sick. Like a corpse. An opaque ghost or something. Your eyes go too far in and you've always got dark under them like you haven't slept in ages. You're so skinny I'm shocked the wind hasn't knocked you over yet!"
Camilla knows it's all true. She knows she looks scary sometimes. This is not the first time she's being told that her pure existence makes people feel haunted. She's tried to fix it with all sorts of things. No amount of sleep or makeup or eating is going to make her look any different. Camilla knows she's going to have to live with the fact that everyone who sees her will think there is a zombie apocalypse once they see her about.
Before Camilla can respond to the teasing, James takes a swing at Yaxley. Yaxley is a bit older and a lot bigger than James so the Potter boy is knocked to the ground in seconds.
"Don't speak about her like that!" James shouts.
Yaxley looks down at James and laughs. "Didn't realize this was your girlfriend now, Potter. How cute. When you get married she can be a corpse bride. Bride of Frankenstein. Or maybe - "
James gets off the ground and goes in for another hit but Remus holds him back.
"James. You don't want to do anything that'll get you knocked off the team. Let's go. Doesn't look like there are any trolls guarding Zonko's." Remus murmurs. They agree and walk off. Camilla does not feel quite right though and tells the others she's going to take a walk. She insists she go alone but James tags along.
"You okay?" James asks as they break away from most of the crowd on the streets.
Camilla shrugs, her hands shoved in her pockets, playing with loose bits of fuzz that have detached themselves from her coat.
"Those guys are dicks. Seriously. Don't listen to a word they say - "
Camilla shakes her head. "I know there's some truth in what they said. I know I always look sick and tired. I'm not as vibrant and lively as someone like... Lily."
"What's Lily got to do with this? C'mon, Millie. You're beautiful and look perfectly alive. Don't you trust me?"
"Of course I trust you, James. Thanks."
"From now on I'm never going to let anybody tease you ever again. They won't be able to get a word in without being introduced to my fist, got it?"
Camilla nods and forces a small smile. There is a brief moment of silence between them before James says: "Don't tell Sirius... but you're my best friend."
"Really?" Camilla is no longer faking her smile.
"Yeah, I mean... I love you, Millie. You're like a sister to me, you know?"
Camilla knows it all too well. She is handed an opportunity to tell James how she feels and instead of saying anything she lets him tell her that he'll always see her as a sister. Camilla does not love James fraternally though. She loves James like warm pajamas and peanut butter and sunrises and laughter. She loves James like she was born to love him.
And Camilla believes that she was. She was born to love James Potter.
