Komahina Angstober

Day 1:

Nagito stumbled into his bedroom in a daze. The day had either gone by extremely fast or extremely slow, he didn't know which. He walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. He looked terrible. His eyes were red and puffy, and his cheeks were stained with tears. Everything looked slightly blurry to Nagito, because he always had tears in his eyes, on standby for the right moment to fall.

In one hand, Nagito held a rose someone had given him, he didn't remember who, in condolences. Nagito had been squeezing the flower so hard, the thorns had pierced his skin. He had to be dragged away by Kazuichi to get bandages. The other hand was in Nagito's pocket, gripping something else. Nagito shakily pulled the program out of his pocket and stared at the face on the cover, smiling back at him. The tears fell.

Hajime's death had taken everyone by surprise. About a week ago, some kid with a gun had tried to mug Hajime and Nagito on the street (Nagito cursed his luck out for the 50th time today). It was clear the kid was scared and nervous, he didn't know what he was doing. Nagito almost felt bad for him. After Hajime and Nagito had declared they had nothing valuable on them, the kid backed away slowly, but then tripped over his feet and fell backward, accidentally pulling the trigger, and hitting Hajime square in the chest. Blood. Blood was everywhere. Nagito could see nothing but crimson blood. On the wall of the ally, on the ground, on Nagito's hands as he tried desperately to stop the bleeding. Nagitos hands were coated with the warm, sticky blood; all he saw was red as his eyes had blurred over with tears, trying to save his husband and tell him he was going to be ok, that he was going to live.

Hajime didn't suffer long.

The rest of it happened in a blur. The kid who murdered Hajime was too scared to move, so the police arrested him without a problem. The kid was sentenced to prison, but that didn't make Nagito happy. All Nagito wanted was Hajime back. All of his friends tried to make him happy, bringing him gifts and helping him plan the funeral, but Nagito didn't believe he would ever be happy again.

At the funeral, Nagito was silent, the only words he said were, "Goodbye Hajime," before he broke down for the 7th time. He almost vomited several times due to the overwhelming sadness he had felt.

Now, Nagito was staring at the program, at Hajime's face. Hajime had a bright smile on his face, with a rosy nose and cheeks. There were delicate white snowflakes falling around him, and an orange wool scarf wrapped around his neck, a scarf that Nagito had gotten Hajime as a joke for his love for oranges, but Hajime had worn it anyway. Nagito stared at Hajime's gorgeous olive-colored eyes, the eyes that always pulled him in. The picture was suddenly wet as Nagito's tears dropped on it. Nagito reached up and wiped the tears off, as not to ruin the picture, but ended up stroking Hajime's face instead.

After calming down a bit, Nagito changed out of his black suit to a long sleeve white shirt and some pajama pants. Then he walked to his bedside table, the table stacked with numerous amounts of books Nagito planned on reading before all this and opened the drawer. There were mostly bookmarks in there (Nagito liked collecting them) but there was also a necklace chain. Nagito pulled out the necklace and looked at the ornaments hanging from it. There were three things, the tags from his old dog's collar, his parent's wedding rings, and a four-leaf clover charm. The charm was a gift Hajime had gotten him for their anniversary. The other things were mementos from people (and animals) he had lost. Nagito had called this his good luck charm and had carried the mementos around whenever he felt he needed good luck.

Now Nagito unclipped the necklace and slid his new charm on it. It was a small picture of Hajime in a tiny orange necklace charm. It was another gift he had received at the funeral. Then he held the necklace in the palm of his hand, touching each individual ornament. He had lost so much, his dog, his parents, and now Hajime. Would it ever end? When would life ever stop taking and taking from him? When Nagito had nothing left to give?

Nagito almost started sobbing again but was so numb from crying all day, his tears were all spent. None came. He just stared at the necklace, bottom lip trembling. He wanted to be with them. He wanted to see them all, wanted them to wrap him in a hug and comfort him (minus his dog, dogs can't really hug people). Then the thought returned to Nagito, a thought on his mind for a long time. The one way out. The one way he could see his loved ones again. He knew Hajime wouldn't approve, which is what kept Nagito from doing it. But now? Nagito didn't think he could take this heartbreak any longer.

Nagito stuffed the necklace in his pocket and walked to the kitchen, then to the medicine cabinet. He took out his sleeping pills and poured them into his hand. It was funny, Nagito had seen himself doing this several times, had wanted to do it several times, but Hajime was the reason stopping him. But now Hajime was gone. And Nagito was going to join him.

Nagito squeezed his good luck charm, mumbled his last goodbye, and was about to take the pills when he felt it. A hand on his shoulder.

At first, Nagito was frightened. He didn't remember letting anyone into his house. But then he felt the hands wrap around his waist, and a chin on his shoulder. It was the way Hajime always hugged him.

"H-Hajime?" Nagito said hoarsely, barely able to get the words out.

"I'm right here," the voice whispered. Nagito's heart melted. What was this? Why was Hajime here? Nagito whipped his head around so he can see Hajime's smile again, but saw nothing there.

"Y-you're a ghost?" Nagito said it more like a question.

"Kind of," his lover's voice responded. "I've been watching you, but now I've decided to make my presence known."

"Why?" Nagito asked.

"To stop you," Hajime said simply.

"From what?" Nagito asked, already knowing the answer. Hajime squeezed Nagito tighter, comforting the white-haired male.

"I don't want you to hurt yourself," Hajime murmured, making Nagito's heart shatter.

"I want to see you again," Nagito choked.

"You can see me a lot," Hajime responded. "In your memories. I know you think you'll be sad forever, that ending your life would be easier, but it's not. You need to live. I want to watch you live." Nagito started shaking. He had never thought of that. That Hajime would want him to live. "I won't dictate your decisions, but please... live. If not for yourself, for me," Hajime continued, snuggling into Nagito's shoulder. Nagito was torn. On one hand, he wanted desperately to see Hajime again, to leave this terrible world behind. On the other hand, Nagito wanted to listen to Hajime's final request.

"Please stay alive, we all want you to."

"We?" Nagito asked. As if on cue, he felt a hand on either of his shoulders. Without saying anything, Nagito knew it was his parents. Then he felt something rubbing on his ankle. His old dog. Why? Why were they all here? Did they want him to live that badly?

"Please?" Hajime gave one final plea. It seemed like he was holding his breath, waiting for Nagito to answer, even though he had no breath to hold.

"I- I-..." Nagito didn't know what to do. Everyone he loved was gone, but they wanted him to live. Nagito took a shaky breath and let it out slowly. Hajime's grip couldn't get any tighter. "I'll... I'll stay." Hajime relaxed. "Thank you, I love you," he murmured, then he was gone. So we're Nagito's parents and dog.

Nagito looked down at the handful of pills in his hand. He silently poured them back into the bottle. He could barely believe what had just happened. He couldn't believe he had seen his family's ghosts.