Dear Jennie (JenLisa Short Stories) [On Going]

03. Stay

Yes I'm famous, but I don't have everything I want to, like a real friendship or someone that loves me unconditionally, you know the kind of group that supports you, or someone who cares about me besides my family or assistant, she is like a sister I never had, but right now it's impossible to see my family they are in New Zealand and my supposed friends are... Well they just don't exist cause people around me are just that, supposed friends, they just want to party, show off they hang out with me, people nowdays are just so shallow.

Right now I'm in the middle of the road, when I feel like everything is suffocating me I ride my bike, it's supposed I shouldn't do it, if I get injured all my concerts and events would be cancelled or postponed, but at this point I don't care, I just want to feel free for at least one night, if my manager gets to know this she will kill me for sure, that woman is very strict, then she will find a way to make me come back to life just to complete all my schedule for the year.

One day I was having a panic attack, it happens to me sometimes, specially when I really get stressed out, I have many things to do and I just feel I can't breath, I feel like if something is pressing really hard on my chest and stomach, I tried to breath deeply but it wouldn't help, so I came outside my hotel room, I walked to this park and I saw some kids playing around with this motorcycle, they were around 15 or so and they were really nice, I was wearing sunglasses and a cap, they asked me if I wanted a ride and I said yes, we just went around the park and I felt how the air was flowing again inside my chest and lungs, after that mini ride I played football soccer with them and it was really fun, this is when I decided to get a bike for myself, of course everyone went crazy when they knew I went outside and played around with some kiddos, like if it was worse.

You may wonder how they found out? Well my manager was calling me like crazy and I didn't answer, they went to my room and I wasn't there, they saw the cameras around and there I was walking outside, I did get in troubles but after I discovered this sensation I wouldn't go backwards.

It's supposed I should be in this party, I was there for quite some time but I got bored, people always asking me how I am, how am I doing, what are my new projects, like if they really care, so I came back home and I decided to go outside on my bike and now my manager is calling again, honestly I don't feel like answering but well I don't want Jisoo gets in troubles, as my assistant she always covers me, so I had to get her call "Hey I'm back home, I got bored, don't worry I took pictures, I smiled I did everything you wanted, and I sent Jisoo home, by the way have you seen her potential? Can we help her to get a casting for a show or drama? Yeah I'm aware I would lose her but she is really good, please help me with that, I never ask for any favour, fine, I'll see you tomorrow", yeah I remember tomorrow I have a photoshoot, probably all day.

So before go back home I'll get some ice cream, at this point I don't care if people recognise me or not, some of them just get so starstruck that don't really talk to me, so after a while I went to my favourite parlor and I got the biggest ice cream cone you can get, I can't eat it inside, I don't want to attract attention so I decided to do it on my bike and then go back home.

I was on my way outside when I collided with someone and my choco mint and milk ice cream went to waste, all over the floor, "Such a bad luck", I could hear a girl trying to apologize, I wasn't really putting attention, I was too focused on my ice cream melting on the sidewalk but she was talking so fast I couldn't understand her so I tried to talk to her "Hey, it's ok, it's just ice cream, so don't worry" she was way taller than me, she had a camera hanging out of her neck, "I'm sorry I was so distracted that I didn't see you, let me get you a new one", I smiled at her "No, seriously, it's ok, it's late and I have to go back home", I don't trust people with cameras, in the moment she recognises me she probably will take pictures of me, only paparazzi have that kind of cameras out of nowhere, so I walked fast back to my bike.