I Follow the Moon

The Day I Died?

This is a real account of what happened to me. All words written are what really happened, atleast my own account. The story line has no real beginning or end its just what I'm writing at the time so it goes back and forth throughout. It's about me and what I went through and continue to go through.

I've been moving for a couple of month's from Illinois to Tennessee, staying at hotels and camp sites. I wanted to visit my daughter for the day and decided on staying the night at families since that was where she was for the summer. I had been through a traumatic break up the year before and if I'm honest for the last 15 years and needed a fresh start on life and family suggested I come to Tennessee to live. What did I have to lose...

NOTHING.

A couple months prior I had been thrust into a "spiritual awakening". You know when your life falls apart and you start getting these abilities that have been locked tight in your chest your whole life until one day...

BAM!!!! (And I literally mean BAM!!!!) Psychic abilities hit me hard. I started seeing names over and over. Then I would meet those people. I would smell things and an hour later walk by what I smelled earlier. I would taste coffee and the man down the street would come outside coffee mug in tote. I would say something or think it and an hour later someone would say the same thing or do it.

DEJA VU' anyone.

I've always had good intuition. Always a good judge of people. Well I had a problem. I would see that one spec of good in someone and try to make myself believe that I could grow that one good spec into a full on good person. Going through trials and torments just to show the world they were good even through all their faults, addictions, or problems. I was a people pleaser. Since childhood I would give someone the piece of candy that I had begged for but they needed it more than me. Well being an adult with this "problem" comes with its own tribulations. 

It only ended up ruining my own goodness and turning my heart into stone.

They say you choose the life you live before your born. You sign a contract saying give me the hardest most fucked up life you can, prick your finger and sign in blood. The debts to be repaid are tremendously hard and hurtful. Some aren't even yours to repay but you do it anyways. Why not right? From Karmic parents and siblings to karmic friends and relationships. You get so stuck on these views that you really believe that is what you deserve. 

YOU DON'T.

That is until you find out the truth about your life. You deserve the life you want even with karmic breathing down your back waiting for your downfall. YOU WON'T fall, and if you do? Dust that shit off and move on. As hard as that is, I am here to tell you that you definitely won't stay down for long. Keep moving and go with the flow of life and your own blood. You will thrive in your own beauty and that isn't gender specific. 

Now to the day the moon took me on a journey I'll never forget. 

I had recently met my "Twin Flame" a month prior. Love at first site or so I thought. There was something about him. I could see he was like me but he didn't see any of that. He ghosted me. We had only talked on the phone so I didn't know anything about him other than his name and he said the right things but showed the wrong actions. I knew this but still I saw he was like me. Well if I'm technical he is me and always will be. I wondered why he ghosted me. What did I do wrong what could I have changed. The answer was I shouldn't have gave him anything if it wasn't equal. It wasn't but at the time I was hopeless. A romantic at heart. Skeptical he was the Devil, but then that's a reflection on me. So it is what it is, lol. I just couldn't figure out what I needed to change in order for me to see the truth.