Dead or Alive

2.

ch.2

No one talks about death. The way it looks, smells, feels. They always talk about the emotions that come from it, but never death itself. How you can see the life leaving someone's eyes, feel their last breath. How still their body is after their heart is no longer beating. How half the dying shit or piss themselves when they go.

It's a strange feeling, just knowing someone is dead next to you, or across the hall, or in the ground. It's a whole different feeling when they are in your arms. When you're holding them and you feel the heat dissipating from their limbs. No one talks about that part of death, maybe because it isn't romanticized or beautiful.

It's horrifying and ugly.

The smell hits me first. Familiar and foreign all at the same time. Antiseptic, artificial fragrance and latex.

The hospital.

I groan, the pressure in my skull throbbing at the base of my neck and shooting up the back of my head. Fuck. That hurts.

"Addy?" I hear a familiar voice and try to open my eyelids, but they feel heavy and slow. Light consumes me, and I discover the hospital room I'm staying in. And not as the doctor - or medical student - but as the patient.

Before I can't even fathom a response, arms are thrown around me making me see stars and groan. "Awe, shit. Sorry babe." Roni smiles softly, tears welling in her brown eyes, never falling.

I look around the room as Roni brushes her fingers through my hair. Some flowers, a pink suitcase that's no doubtedly hers, and a man.

Wait - what?

He sees me, and smiles, scooting the chair closer to my bed. "Hey there champ." The man says, lightly punching my leg. It was the guy from the club. What was his name? My head throbs as I try to remember. Thor? No...Lenny, that's it.

"You gave Ron here a scare, but I knew you'd be fine." He smiles, and leans back, winking over at her.  His hair is untied, and blonde locks hang down his neck, brushing against his shoulder blades.

His phone rings and he glances at Roni, before stepping out. Narrowing my eyes, I watch his body language change...it's weird. He went from relaxed to drill sergeant in 5 seconds flat, all because of a phone call?  Before I can let my mind wander, Roni places her hand on my cheek and turns my head towards her.

"I thought you were going to die you..." she chokes out her words, emotion clawing at the back of her throat, "...you bitch." She finally gets out, smiling and we both share a laugh.

I shake my head, despite the pain. "Can't get rid of me that easily," I respond. Swallowing, I look out the glass panel, separating Lenny and us. He is deep in conversation, looking tense and frustrated.

"Why is he here?" I mumble out, more to myself. Sunlight shades in, illuminating behind my best friend. She looks unreal in this moment, ethereal almost.

"He's stayed with me ever since we brought you here. I told him he could go, but he's been so sweet. Making sure I eat, helping me pack to come here when I was a mess. He's..." she trails off, staring at him like a love struck teen.

"Do you remember anything?" She shake out of her trance, focusing back on me. I still, thinking back to that night. I remember those eyes, the skinny man, the silver rings. I remember everything, and i'm just about to tell her when Lenny rejoins us, looking relaxed and as confident as before.

"I remember seeing you eat shit. And that's why girls should never wear those skinny heels, no matter how good your legs look walking in 'em." he says, and I stare at him, wide eyed.