Dead or Alive

15.

The dawn has broke, leaving a blue hue to the once pitch back room. I blink, adjusting to the low light and feel around for Theo but the bed is cool under my fingertips. Lazily, I roll over and face the room, seeing his figure in that same chair as before.

"Come back to bed." I mutter, the drunken sound of sleep on my lips. His form shifts a bit, and I can now make out what he is doing with his hands.

Twirling. My knife.

"Theo..?" My voice is more alert than before and I feel dizzy at the sight before me. Only little things start standing out now. His hair, normally unkept and messy has been buzzed down to a clean cut. He looks leaner in this lighting, and I blink away the disoriented feeling. His fingers are swift, calculated as he twirls the weapon between his fingers.

Swallowing, I move to sit up and his profile comes into better view. And there is cotton shoved down my throat when I understand what I'm seeing.

Mateo.

I shut my eyes hard, having had this dream before. It's not real. It's a nightmare. I shake my head, trying to wake myself up.

He stands now, stalking towards me like a predator. The way he moves is unlike anything i've ever seen - balanced, smooth, precise. It almost calms me, but he's at the foot of the bed now and I don't bother trying to breath.

Slowly, he stops twirling my knife and sets it at the foot of the bed, overtop the thick duvet. I can make out his face now. Sharp, cold features. His jaw could cut glass, his cheekbones unfairly defined. He looked angelic in this light, unearthly, beautiful.

His fingers trace the bed, so close to where my legs are curled up under the covers. In a moment of hesitation, he withdraws. His mouth opens, like he would move to speak but he shuts it with a shake of his head.

I force my eyes shut. Wake up, wake up, wake up! I hear him moving again, the groan of the chair as he sits back down and all I can do is whisper this mantra as my body lays paralyzed.

Wake up.
Wake up.
WAKE UP.

—

The morning has come and gone by the time I'm dragged out of slumber. The sun sits high in the sky, basking the room in a blinding glow as I blink away the lasts bits of my dreams. My skin is slick with sweat and my thoughts foggy from being racked with yet another nightmare of Mateo. My limbs are stiff as I climb out of bed, stalking to the shower like a zombie.

The heat of the water seems to center me somehow, and the half reality I was living in when I awoke has all but washed down the drain. Im just worried about meeting him tonight is all. I need to be prepared, confident and smart if Im going to survive this. Still, I can't make out what Mateo's game is. His email was formal enough, and yet I can't truly understand why Theo would so willingly lay me like a lamb to be slaughtered in front of him. He put a price on my head, he stole my life from me and I'm suppose to go and swallow down his shitty food and play nice?

I wipe away the fog on the mirror, lost in my thoughts as something catches my eye. Leaning in closer, through the hazy reflection, I see it.

The skin of my neck, just below my ear had a clear red mark. Purple and yellow bruising surround it and before I can get ahold of this anger, I toss on the first thing I can find, a simple black dress, and storm out of my room.

Lenny catches me first in my tirade, and stops me with two hands on square on my shoulders.

"Where is he." I grind out between my teeth, and Lenny's eyes widen.