Dead or Alive

12.

Theo's office was an enigma. His persona made him clinical. Clean lines, harsh words. Practical. Predictable. His office was warmth. Rich woods covered the space, dust meticulously left unbothered along the shelves. Every moment in this room is like peeling back a layer to him that I desperately wanted to ask him about, to beg him to uncover. But getting Theo to open up was about as likely as my ability to walk out the front door and never hear from these people again. Impossible. And me wanting him to talk to me, to tell me things? That was a dangerous thing to want.

And still...

I track his movements as we enter the office. His hands, still adorned with the silver rings that I now wanted to ask the importance of, pulling out the chair. The way he pulls up his slacks a bit as he sits. The hard pull of the material of his shirt as he stretches to pull open the laptop. His eyes that are pinned on me, questioning me.

I stand, awkwardly in the middle of the space as I remember myself and try my best to not act as if I was just gawking this man. God. I'm going insane.

As Theo and Lenny open the laptop to dissect whatever new kill order has come through, I trail my finger along the edge of the bookshelf, dust collecting on the tip.

"Adeline." Theo says, more alarmed than I expected. I turn around quickly, chewing on my bottom lip.

"What? He's gonna nuke the place in 24 hours if you don't send him my right foot?" I say quickly, trying to swallow back the nerves.

Theo's brows scrunch together. God, it was cute. "What? No. Come here." He says, waving me their way. Circling the desk, I lean over to read the email on the screen, my shirt riding up on my back thighs, taking the shorts with it. Theo tries to stifle a groan. Ignoring him, I read the email.

Subject:
Our Common Interest

Body:
To whomever is reading this, though I do hope it is shared with our favorite girl. I request a meeting with the one Adeline Renee Ross.

It seems we have found ourselves in quite a predicament, my love. I'm desperate to speak with you. I know we met under such deplorable circumstances, but I can't help but regret it. I saw the real you, and it was delightful. I'd like to chat...and given the situation, Im sure you would too.

Im inviting you to a dinner. A neutral location as you've seemed to align yourself with the underbelly of this world. Please join me for a delightful evening of delicious cuisine, flowing wine and stimulating conversation.

Tomorrow. 7pm sharp.

2849 Delilah Street.

Formal attire. Please respond with any food allergies.

Come alone.

I hope you don't disappoint me.

Yours,
Mateo

P.S. Theo, old pal. Please do not make me regret this. You know how I get when people don't follow my instructions. You remember what happened to Evangeline, don't you? Don't put our dear Adeline in the same danger.

I let go of the breath I was holding, my fingers gripping the desk so hard my knuckles ache.

"W-who is Evangeline?" I ask, because there is too much to unpack concerning me. I need to divert the attention. I can't do this right now. I can't face the man who openly gave a threat to turn me into him. Especially when that threat specifically stated that it didn't matter if I was kicking and screaming or in a body bag. Standing up straighter, I look over my shoulder at Theo.

He's facing away from me, admiring a photo that I didn't know was there. Two children, smiling ear to ear, hugging. His shoulders are tense, hands fisted. Facing me, his expression is cold and emotionless. But his eyes are bright with fury and glowing with molten hatred.

"Evangeline was my sister." He says. Hard, a finality in his tone. Still, I press.

"And what happened to her?" I say weakly. I should shrivel up and die right here. It would be easier than the path ahead of me.

"That is of no concern here. Drop it. We have plans to make." He says quickly, rushing beside me to the desk where he presses a hidden button. All at once, men file into the room, backs straight, eyes forward.

"But Theo-" I step towards him, reaching for his arm. I have to know what kind of danger I'm in. What sort of trap this is. He can't seriously be thinking of sending me in there with this monster? Can he? My lip quivers at the thought.

"Not now. We have plans to make. Go to your room, and wait for my word." He dismisses me and Lenny is at my side, hand at my elbow trying to guide me out.

"No. You can't just make plans without me. You can't just dismiss me and summon me as you please! This is my life! Mine!" I say, shaking Lenny off of me. These men think I'm some puppet? Some girl to dangle around?

Theo pins me with a hard look, and stands up straighter. I have the wise sense to swallow my tongue. "Stop acting like a brat when we have work to do. You think you know everything just because you've played with a knife and got a man killed? This is war, princess. The people in this room don't shrivel up and cry when they kill. And we sure as hell don't try to speak up and act as though they know everything. You know nothing. NOTHING!" He say, raising his voice and making me flinch.

I was so stupid to believe I was safe here, to start getting comfortable here. To forget that I am a lamb in the the lions den. My eyes begin to water without my permission and I press my lips together, turn and run out, parting the sea of men and sprinting as far as I can down the hall, straight into the room.

With a slam of the door, a twist of the lock I let myself go.

And i cry.

I sob into my fists, allowing the racking of my chest to consume my body. I cry for the men I've killed and soul I've lost. I cry for the girl who complained about testing and loved the thrill of the night shift. I cry because she is dead and her carcass is being dragged around in this nightmare. I cry for the little future I have left. The little time on the earth.

I cry until I can't see straight and my mind is a melting pot of words and sentences I can string together. Until my throat is raw and my legs can't stand to hold me any longer.

I crawl into bed and let yet another wave of despair take a hold of me. Clenching the pillow, looking for any sort of comfort in this Godless place.

I cry. And cry.

Until there is nothing left.