So many emotions ran through my mind. I didn't know how to feel or what to think. I took 3 more test to be certain and they all came back positive. The hardest decision I faced was should I tell Stank or not. But how could I? How could I tell my best friend's boyfriend that I too was pregnant with his child? I even considered giving the child up for adoption but I knew when the time came I wouldn't be able to actually go through with it. I decided to face reality and I scheduled a doctor's appointment.
Passion was so excited. She had already started picking out baby names and buying things. I tried distance myself but it seemed like she drew closer to me. She even told me her and Stank had begun house shopping so the baby could have it's own room. The happier she was, the worse I felt.
Today was the day of my doctor's visit. The doctor confirmed I was indeed pregnant. I just wanted to cry. I tried to fake being happy but I was the farthest thing from it. I exited the room, depressed as ever. As I was leaving, Cinnamon exited the room straight ahead. My body turned cold. "Simone, girl what you doing here? Wait don't tell me you're pregnant too?? Why you didn't tell me?", She said with such excitement as she ran and embraced me. It felt as though I just died. "I wanted to be certain before I told anyone", I lied to her. "OMG girl congrats! Now we can experience this together as besties. Yayyy, I'm so excited now!" In my mind I thought, "You have no idea how close together we really are". I fake laughed then she asked, "Wait don't tell me Pete your baby daddy?" Pete was one of my regulars from the club. We hooked up a few times but I hadn't been with him since he and his wife had gotten back together. I didn't know whether to lie and say yes or lie and say no. "Girl yeah", I lied and rolled my eyes. "Aw shxt, let's go grab lunch and talk about how you gon tell him".
I learned Passion was due only 3 weeks before me. "I hope it's a girl but Stank is DYING for a boy. What you wanna have?" I simply replied, "I'll be happy either way". "Awww I'm so happy. My godchild and my child can literally grow up together", Passion stated. I could only think, "Little do you know your godchild will actually be your stepchild".
Passion told me Stank had agreed to pay early to find out the sex of the child. She insisted on me being there with her when she found out. As much as I wanted to decline, I felt like I had to be there for her.
We went to the appointment and learned she was having a girl. She lit up with excitement. I tried to be the happiest for her I could. "Aw shxt, you got your girl. I know you happy bestie". "Girl i'm excited as hell but I know Stank gon be mad. You should get yours done early too, I'll go with you". A little piece of me was eager to know but I didn't want her there with me. "IDK, I wanna be surprised plus I still gotta figure out how imma tell Pete". "Well i hope it's a girl too so they can be besties like us". I smiled and just looked away.
I took Passion up on her suggestion and I too scheduled my appointment to get my sex early, but I was sure to go alone. I asked the doctor not to announce it to me, to just put the ultrasound in an envelope. I wanted to wait until I knew my final decision before i looked at it.
A few more weeks went by. Passion had so many plans for us. She told Stank they were having a girl and he was disappointed, but still excited. I still didn't know what I planned to do. It's 4:18 a.m. and my phone rang. So startled I fumbled to see who was calling. It was Passion. "Hello, girl you good, why you calling this late?", I answered still half sleep. On the other end Passion was crying so bad I couldn't make out what she was actually saying. I sat up, "Calm down, tell me what's wrong. I can't understand you". Passion finally catches her breath enough to reply, "Can you come to the emergency room? I lost the baby". At that moment, my soul left my body. "I'm on my way", I replied and sat at the edge of my bed.
I finally got the strength to get up and get dressed. Just as I was getting ready to leave I looked at the envelope from the doctor. I decided to open it. "It's a boy".
