[16] Fate can't make you a monster, but your actions can

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Today I woke up with a headach

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Today I woke up with a headach. Not a terribly noticeable one, just a dull aching coming from a far off corner of my mind. Typically a person would shove something like this off. Maybe drink some water and take it easy for the day. That's what I should be doing. With my abilities, my mind can become overwhelmed fairly frequently. Headache arent new, they arent strange. This one though...it's so subtle. So subtle that it seems like a sign. As if I still needed any of those to tell me I'm screwed.

Finally I reach the end of my secret shortcut hallway and take a breath. I havent exactly been what you would call excited to go back to class, to be around everyone who saw what I did yesterday. Even just from my breaf walks yesterday I could tell they were scared of me...they should be scared. No matter what Jean or Scott said, or however they may feel, that dosent change the fact that even Hank was concerned by mt current state. He never got around to telling me exactly what is wrong with me, but the idea was clear enough. Besides, I highly doubt he really knows anyways.

Despite the inevitable reactions I would rather not put myself through, theres currently only three minutes until class starts, and even I know that walking in late is a thousands times worse then mingling in with everyone else. So I push my feet forward and walk into the main hallway, where people are buzzing around, making there way to first period.

Surprisingly though, theres someone standing at the front door, who is definitely grabbing peoples attention more than me. Her blonde hair is curled into a million loose ringlets and for a moment I dont even recognize who she is. Well, until I seep into her mind and flashbacks come tumbling into my head so fast that I nearly puke. I try to control them like usural, but for some reason all of my actions seem to be no use. Panic runs through me as I'm instantly reminded of one of the worst days of my life. The look my dad gave me before he sent me falling to the floor. The gun clattering out of her hands. The tears that stained my face as I told my friend I never wanted to hear from him again. Worst of all hough, I'm reminded of yesterday. Of what happening the last time control escaped me.

"Estelle?"

I blink hard and the room goes back to normal. I dont know how long I've just been standing here, but the hall seems to have cleared out. The only people remaining being a teenage boy, whose probably only a few years older than me, and...

"Mystique." I say, the word coming out like sandpaper against my tongue.

She walks down the stairs and comes to my side. "I didn't know you were attending this school."

"I was the first student," I say, awkwardly. "So um...no ones seen you since...you know."

She nods her head, seeming to acknowledge that I don't really want to talk about it. "Youve grown a lot. I mean, I didn't see you much last year but when I used to know you-"

"I was seven." I interrupt her. "So uh...yeah, I've grown."

My words come out semi harsh, but in my defense this isnt exactily how I pictured my day going. When I think of Mystique, all that comes to my mind are past memories I'd rather forget. It's not her fault, but having her stand here infront of me, something inside whispers that it is. That all of this is her fault. If she hadn't come today then I could have moved forward, maybe even figured out what conflict is going on inside of me. Now though? All my mind will think of is my regrets, of the past. The very thing that I've been told is my doom. So I guess that beggs the question, how much of the future did we actually change? How many things are beyond the limits of fate?

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