Miss Lola.

Macdonalds.

Chapter 2.

A lot goes into my personal hygiene and I don't mind splurging on the best products when they can help me to continue looking fabulous.

Hello, I'm at that age when wrinkles creep up on you like Father Time and these hips have the tendency to spread like butter on warm toast which is why I half kill myself working out at the gym.

If I was brave enough, I'd buy myself a whole new face and a new set of boobs to match it but I'm a total wimp when it comes down to cosmetic surgery and all of that foolishness.

Sometimes, I envy men, because they don't have to constantly change their outer appearance to still be considered attractive or even halfway attractive and let me tell you, most of those jokers can do with a few nips and tucks themselves !

Some men are walking around here right now with big, beer bellies looking like they're nine months pregnant and have a nerve to complain if their woman leaves the house without a waist trainer.

Ha!

So anyway, I showered, spritzed my body down with Coco Chanel and changed into  black, skinny jeans which gently hugged my curves, a white BeBe tank and gold, low heeled sandals because I wanted to show off my freshly done toes.

Then touched up my face in the bedroom mirror.

My skin is smooth and walnut brown, however my best features are my almond shaped, bourbon colored eyes.

I like to enhance them with dark eyeliner and maybe a touch of smokey color on the lids if I'm in the mood or have a hot date.

My cheekbones reveal some Native American blood and I have full lips and a Sudanese nose with delicate nostrils.

By the way, I always advice my female clients to do their face after changing into their outfit because it saves time and I haven't met a man yet who doesn't appreciate a woman who can get dressed and fully made up in under twenty minutes.

Please trust me on that, ladies. ( wink).

"Looking foxy girl." I tell my reflection and then fluff my naturally curly honey streaked brown hair before collecting my purse and phone off the dresser and after switching the bedroom light off it's time to deal with the kids.

"Okay, kids let's jet."

They beat me to the front door and I smirk a little and shake my head at their eagerness to eat at the famous golden arches.

"Can I sit up front?" Tommy begged after we'd crossed my neat lawn and made it to the garage where my ice white Mercedes was parked.

Speaking of the Mercedes, it's ten years old and in pretty good condition thanks to Chuck, my "magic fingers" mechanic.

Every unmarried girl needs a guy like him around to keep things running smoothly and Chuck was a godsend, and he doesn't overcharge like the rest of these jokers which is why I haven't kicked him to the proverbial curb.

"I wanna sit next to Granny!" Bella protested.

"For the last time it's Big Mama and neither one of you are riding up front. Ray j.r will be riding up front." I say, giving the oldest two the stank face.

"Aww..man." Tommy complains.

"And don't be touching all over my white seats with your grubby little paws. I'm talking to you, Tommy."

I make sure that the kids are strapped in because last time Bella almost fell out of the car because she hadn't buckled herself in properly and had been playing with the car door while the car was in motion.

"It's too tight." She whined, yanking on the seat belt. "People can't even breath."

"You'll live." I said sweetly and patted her on the head before firmly engaging the child lock on the doors and then I walked around to the driver's side and strapped myself in before keying the ignition.

"I gotta pee." Ray j.r moans. "It's almost falling out too."

He was squirming in the seat and cupping the front of his brown shorts.

"Boy, why didn't you use the bathroom when we were in the house?" I ask.

"I don't have to use it then."

"It's didn't. My goodness. What are they teaching y'all at that school?"

"I think it's a good idea to let him out because Ray has a leaky bladder." Tommy said.

Have Mercy!

So, I quickly unbuckle my belt and Ray's too because he's too busy holding himself to be of any use with the seat belt and we both race to the house and stop on the porch while I frantically poke the door key inside of the keyhole.

"Please hurry Granny!" He's yelling by now and hopping from foot to foot like a grasshopper on a hot skillet. "I can feel the first drop falling out!"

As soon as I opened the front door my grandson flew past me like a bat out of Hell.

"I better not see any yellow puddles on my polished, oak floors either!" I hollered.

Five minutes later, we're on the way to Mickey Dees where I graciously allow the kids to order anything on the menu as long as it comes with something

halfway healthy, like milk or apple slices and of course, Tommy doesn't want either milk or apples and I end up canceling his entire order and ordering him chicken nuggets and bottled water instead.

"Hey, I wanted a Big Mac and extra large fry!" He's pouting like a two year old.

"Boy, if you don't hush and eat those nuggets..."

"I hate chicken nuggets." He had the nerve to shove the container across the table where it almost fell on the floor. I caught the box just in time and slammed it down in front of him.

"Thomas James Larson, if you don't eat these nuggets..."

"I'll eat them." Bella said.

"No, you won't." Tommy snatched the box off the table and started stuffing nuggets inside of his mouth until his cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk.

"Have mercy! Boy, you're gonna choke on them." I cringed back in my seat.

Tommy's jaws were working like pistons as he chewed and a moment later he managed to swallow it all down without killing himself in the process.

"Now can I have a Big Mac?" He asked all innocently and I thought, what the heck, and ordered the boy a Big Mac.

"Y'all sit right here, I'll be back." I know it was risky leaving them at the table unattended but I had to tinkle.

10/24/21.
1/31/23.