He Says He's Just A Friend

Chapter 63 - You Can't Always Get What You Want

- Clay -

I got startled by someone sitting in the chair next to me in the library at school on Monday afternoon. I was there to do work on a research paper for my sociology class. I was skipping lunch to finish it, because I'd totally forgotten about it over the weekend with everything going on, and it was due in my last class of the day. It was also like 15% of my final grade.

I looked up to find Duke glaring at me. "What are you doing here? Come to attack me again?"

Duke shook his head. His eyes narrowed to slits, staring me down. "You know you ruined everything between me and Emmett."

I snorted, raising a questioning brow. "How did I do that?" I turned back to my reading.

"You convinced him to break up with me."

"No, I really didn't." I highlighted a paragraph for later use.

"I want him back."

I looked up from the book, snapping the lid on my highlighter being overdramatic about it. "Good luck with that."

Duke gripped the back of my chair and glanced around quickly before leaning in so close that his face was just a few inches from mine. "If you don't break up with him, I'm going to tell everyone you're a huge flaming homo."

I lowered my voice to a whisper. "Last I checked, you also had a little fire going on yourself, buddy."

"The difference is you don't have proof."

A stab of cold fear shot through my chest. "You're bluffing."

"Am I?" Duke's lips twisted into a smirk. He took out his phone and laid it on the table, opening his photos app. He clicked on an image to enlarge it. It was me and Emmett sitting on a bench outside the hospital the day he got released. The day Duke punched me. Apparently, Duke stuck around to play paparazzi.

Duke slid his finger across the screen to switch to the next image: me and Emmett hugging.

And the next: me and Emmett kissing. It was just a brief peck, but Duke caught the exact moment our lips were pressed together.

I breathed heavily, anger bubbling just beneath the surface.

"What do you got to say to that, buddy?" Duke gripped my shoulder, digging his fingers into the flesh painfully.

I gritted my teeth, trying not to show the discomfort on my face. "Even if I did what you said, Emmett would never forgive you for doing this."

"Who says he has to know?" Duke pressed harder with his thumb until I buckled forward, grunting from the pressure.

I scooted my chair a few inches away, turning my body to him. "Don't you think he'd want to know why I'd break up with him after three weeks of dating?" I knew I should stop speaking, but I wanted to twist the knife in Duke. I wanted to hurt him for doing this. "Especially since we've just started having sex."

Duke blanched at that. His hard facade slipped, showing a glimpse of true hurt. But it only lasted a moment. His anger returned, harsher than before. "You're a smart guy, Clay. You'll think of something."

"Do you actually love him? Or do you just want him now because you can't have him?"

Duke shrugged. "Does it matter? Either way, it doesn't change your role in this scenario."

"It does matter, actually. A lot." I swallowed a lump in my throat. "I love him, Duke. Like for real, honest to God, love him."

Duke chuckled and tapped his hand against my cheek twice. "That's cute."

"I'm serious."

"You know what? It's a tough decision. I'll give you some time to think about it." He acted like he was being generous. As if he wasn't in control of this. Like it would happen with or without his consent. "If you haven't broken up with him by the end of the game Friday night, I'll post these lovely pictures for the entire school to see."

I pressed my lips tightly. I could feel my nostrils flaring. I wanted to punch Duke. My hand tightened around my pencil so hard it snapped in half.

Duke snickered and patted me on the back. "Just ask yourself, Clay, is being with Emmett worth the whole school knowing you're gay?" He stood up and leaned over to whisper into my ear, "Because that's the price."

"Why now?" I asked, fighting back angry tears. "You've known about us since the day after we got together. You've had nearly a month to do this. What changed?"

My question seemed to surprise him. He sat back down and laid an arm across the back of my chair. "I saw you."

"What?"

"I was at Vibrant Friday night looking for a hookup. I saw you making out with Emmett. Dancing, being happy. And I almost had that with him again. I was this close to getting him back." He held two fingers up an inch apart. "Then you swooped in and stole him from me. And seeing you together just really pissed me off."

"I didn't steal him. He's not a football or a watch. He's a person. And he made a decision."

"Because he didn't know that I wanted him back. He thought I just wanted sex." He leaned in, narrowing his eyes. "Because we also had sex. Two days before your accident. Right before he hooked up with you."

"Are you trying to shock me? He already told me what happened with y'all. He also said it was a mistake, and he regrets it. And that he could never be with you again after the way you treated him last year."

"That's a goddamn lie!" He seized my collar, yanking me forward. Through gritted teeth, he said, "You're lucky we're in school right now, or I'd beat your queer little ass senseless. But then I'd get suspended and banned from the game, and I've got scouts from LSU, Auburn, Alabama, and Tennessee coming to watch me."

"Congratulations," I muttered. That was his dream. Once I would've cheered for him. Been ecstatic over this. Now I felt nothing.

Duke released me, pushing me back into my seat. "Tick-tock, Clay. Time's running out. What are you gonna do?" He slapped the side of my head as he stood up. "Honestly, I'm amazed nobody's called you out for being a fairy already with that ugly ass hair."

I closed my eyes, trying to keep a lid on the quiet fury building in my chest. I heard Duke's heavy footsteps retreating. I opened my eyes and looked over my shoulder in time to see him push through the exit door.

I felt the tickle of a tear roll down my cheek. Could I live with everyone knowing my secret? Or, more importantly, could I live without Emmett?

The answer to both, at this very moment, was no. How was I supposed to reconcile that? Duke made it clear. I couldn't have one without the other.

Unable to hold in my anger, I shoved everything in front of me as hard as I could, sending my books and papers flying onto the floor. I hurried to pick everything up and stuffed it all into my backpack, rushing out of the library to find somewhere to have a breakdown in private.