SnowField (SUBALUNA💙💝FANFIC)

SnowField

It was a normal afternoon at Himemori's house, young Luna was busy with her group live, together with her beloved Subaru and Coco. Everything was going well, until the infernal fishing game (it consists in fishing a piece of paper with the task to be performed on it, obviously this piece of paper doesn't have to be paper).
  paper). Being distant and therefore not in a single room as is the norm in this type of collaboration, they had abolished all the pledges regarding physical contact, causing the public's disappointment at the discovery of this limitation, voluntarily kept hidden by the three, until that moment.
  The first burning pawns began to follow one another such as: "Who do you prefer of the group?" (unfortunately happened to Choco) or "Have you ever felt attraction for any of the Hololive?" (happened to Luna, who nodded in embarrassment). Everything seemed to be going too smoothly, until the fateful question to Subaru: "What's hidden in the relationship SubaLuna, that you can't tell the public?".
  The question, without even thinking about it, was written by Choco sensei, who was laughing now, while Luna was really eager to hear the girl's answer.
  S:NOTHING! BECAUSE FOR NOW (whispering and not being heard by anyone) THERE IS NO SUBALUNA, THERE ARE ONLY CHICKS!
  L:A....I have to go for a moment- And with that said she shifted into the live and walked away from the station to think.
  The words were bouncing around in her head.
  L(Thought): "NOTHING" "NOTHING" "NOTHING"-
  By now that single exclamation would not leave her mind, and with each passing second, the calm Luna became less and less calm.
  She tried hard to recover, and once she seemed to have succeeded, she went back to her desk and put the headphones back on to hear what her friends were saying
  S (replying to a probable donation): Really guys, between Luna and me there is "nothing", so stop bringing this up all the time-
  L:...-
"Crash!"
Simply, her mask had shattered, her much-loved and praised smile had distorted into a terrible "nothing"...Yes, exactly, "Nothing".  This was the only word that could give a sense to the expression now expressed on the face of the "candid" princess, whose vision was now slowly blurring and slowly taking on more and more bright shades of red.
She gritted her teeth, making a noise that could have sent shivers down the spine of even a deaf person, and at that point the tears began to flow, one by one, slowly and irregularly at first, but then faster and faster, accelerating every second that passed and assuming a rhythm comparable to a tortuous waltz.
There was no way she could calm down and so she closed her eyes trying to cling to the memory of what she was, but nothing.
The more she held on to those memories, the more they crumbled like ashes in her hands leaving her drowning more and more in that red sea that the world now appeared to her.
-AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH-
-She screamed, or rather literally exploded as she emitted the scream. She began to breathe faster and faster until the sobs came and joined the latter creating an unhealthy union.
-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!-
-The second one was even worse than the first one, the vocal cords touched each other or rather they hit each other in a violent way starting to rub each other like two graters, so much so that the last part of the now infernal sound was more comparable to a rusty knife rubbed on a table, than to a human moan.
-She took his face in her hands, starting to scratch herself from top to bottom, from cheeks to chin.
-- Why? Why am I so different?
- W-hy(sobbing even louder)?
- - Why can't you accept the way I feel about you?
- Is it so wrong to love a woman for me?
- - Is it so wrong to want a friend so much that you can't be satisfied with your current relationship, even if it destroys forever the fantastic friendship we used to share?
- Why can't I stop loving you even though it's wearing me down?
- -Subaru (Looking at a picture of the girl)...I LOVE YOU! And I CAN'T STAND THIS ANYMORE; I DON'T CARE IF OUR RELATIONSHIP AFTER I TELL YOU EVERYTHING COULD DESTROY, BECAUSE IF YOU CAN'T BE MINE...well simple I'll leave you, or rather I'll leave everything and try to start over, far away from everything that was and that I wished could be. Because even though your smile is the sun itself for me, I'd rather not look at it anymore, than see it every day knowing that I'll never be able to reach it... because...(giving a little melancholic smile) I'm the Moon aren't I? Huh? Yes...I'm used to living at night, without being able to inebriate myself with the light of the most famous of stars and this period in which I've been able to witness her up close I'll compare to an eclipse, the only moment in which the Moon and you, the Sun, met and although it may have been brief (starting to cry intensely again)...
IT WAS THE BEST MOMENT OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!