To you, My Almost | Lipsoul

<4> | entry God

A/n : wish you were sober, Conan gray.

Context
Jinsoul is drunk. That's all you need to know, if you can't read bits of it, do tell, if not I might do it again.
October 5th.
Maybe angst, it's time for a change ( as in story format, it'll be a normal fanfic, this has been the prologue? Epilogue? The before hand)

Entry

I love you, :] god I love you, your smile, your voice, your eyes crinkling when you smile, oh how unfair it is... It makes my heart go wooooooshhh

I see you from here, all around are hormonal teenagers, no seriously why're they like this.

I love you, god I love you. Every goddamn flaw, imperfection. Why does it all seem so beautiful on you.

Not to mention your personality, I really didn't deserve an angel like you....

Love, an emotion? A chemical? I wonder what it is to you... For me it's you.

Love, a hindrance? A dream? I wonder which our story could've been? Probably the former, you were never the best. But you were my choice

Love, you? Her? Her? Or her? You're not top ten, not top 5, not top 3... You're at the bottom of the list. But no, it doesn't mean anything other than hoe much I'd cherish our story

No it doesn't mean I didn't love you, god if only you knew how much I actually did.

I guess this is my theory's end, I wonder if I would be handling this worse if I didn't believe in this.

I love you the most, I trust myself, I know I do, because I don't think anyone could love you more than me.

I mean, sacrificing time, health, emotions, studies, everything. Of course, not unhealthily...

I sacrificed time for me by spending it with you, which made me happier than anything else anyway.

I sacrificed my health, but my times running out anyway, so...not much to sacrifice hahaha

Emotions, god I only felt love for you, that year we spent, all of it was me loving you.

And well, my studies stay the same regardless of if I study of not. I failed two subjects like usual, passed the others like usual.

Everything was like usual, even after I lost you.

Could you imagine me? A week after I was crying crying and crying. But after 2 I'd moved on, I no longer felt love for you. I no longer loved you.

I loved us, and I miss us, but I don't want you back, I wonder if I really did move on...well I'll give myself the benefit of the doubt 😘

But no... I never hated you even after finding out, like the meme I really wasn't mad, just dissapointed.

I guess it's after all the stories I've been through, you were like...just another story.

You're not my favourite story, but you will never be forgotten.

Because every story is a love I've had, because every story is a love I wished lasted.