Saddle Up: a Cedar Ridge Ranch novella

CH 5: "The Pool"

To Heff's surprise, he awoke from the most restful sleep he'd had since receiving news of his sister's death. Having fallen asleep in a heightened state of panic, he was sure he'd awaken filled with tension and thoroughly exhausted as he had many times before. But this morning, he felt genuinely rested.

Heff left the bed and stepped over to the window, shocked to find mere inches of snow outside, he'd anticipated much more after last night. Apparently, the storm had consisted of mainly wind, thunder, and lightning.

Turning from the window, Heff spotted his suitcase on the floor just inside the bedroom door. He hadn't brought it in from the Jeep yesterday, his mind elsewhere. By the time he'd scurried to his room last night, he wasn't thinking about a change of clothes.

But there it was.

Garland brought it in?

Who else?

Heff sat down on the bed, drawing the blankets over his legs, and thought about the scene in the barn. He'd never seen Garland cry before. At the funeral, he stood still as a statue, eyes shielded by dark sunglasses, and let Heff give the eulogy. Heff barely made it through without crumbling, but somehow, he'd managed. Maybe it was the shock numbing the senses that allowed him to speak of his sister and brother-in-law without a torrent of tears. Had the funeral been today... he would've cried the whole way through.

Though Garland knew Mandy and Frank's friends far better than Heff, it was Heff who greeted and thanked them for being there. Garland hardly moved at all, and merely nodded when folks offered their condolences. Heff understood. For some, just trying to speak in a moment of grief would cause a domino effect that ultimately brought them crashing down. He thought Garland was using every ounce of strength just to stay on his feet.

Heff's eyes stung as he again thought of Garland in the barn, hugging the hound dog, and finally letting it all go. There was a time, long ago, when Garland might have turned to Heff for comfort in a situation like this. But those days were gone forever. Garland would never expose his pain to Heff. He would never smile at Heff again... or be his friend. And that fact made all the good memories he had of him and Garland more priceless... and more painful. Still, he clung to them. No matter how badly Garland treated him now, Heff would always remember the man he used to be... the friend he used to be.

.................................

"So, you're turning the big one-six this weekend, huh?" Garland spoke over his shoulder to Heff, who rode double with him on the quarter horse gelding.

"Uh-huh." Heff gripped the man's belt, fingers tucked around the leather strap. He wanted to wrap his arms around Garland and bury his face in his hair, inhale his cologne, but he was afraid Garland would object. He teased Heff constantly and playfully hugged him a lot, but it wasn't real—he didn't actually "like" Heff... the way Heff liked him. Heff didn't think Garland was even gay, though he never saw him go on dates with girls.

"Sweet sixteen." Garland grinned. "How... sweet."

"Stop it." Heff smiled, his face warming. "Sweet sixteen is a girl thing. For a boy, it's just another year older. It isn't anything special."

"What?" Garland squawked. "Like hell, it isn't special for a boy. Sixteen is the home stretch to becoming a full-fledged man. Two more years, baby, and you'll be all grown up."

Heff shivered pleasantly; Garland acknowledged that too? It meant he was paying attention... right? The thought warmed Heff inside. Was he as eager as Heff for Heff's eighteenth birthday?

Stop doing this to yourself—he was just pointing out the obvious. He isn't waiting for the chance to jump your bones.

Heff kind of wished he was. His dreams of Garland lately were getting hotter—and Garland wasn't helping. Every time he whipped off his shirt while doing chores around the ranch... Heff had to find ways to hide his reaction. More and more every day he thought about Garland being his first... his only. He didn't want to be with anyone else, ever.