Deepavali

How my excitement for festivals died

When I was a child, I used to be excited every year for three festivals - Holi, Ganesh Chaturthi and Diwali. I can't say I like these now but I would also be lying if I said I don't.  These festivals used to be fun for different reasons and sad too. This is an essay about how I used to celebrate these festivals at my place and the ups and the downs I experienced. I hope you enjoy reading.

Holi used to be very exciting. 
The month of March was marked by new flowers, new session, new leaves, new books, fresh air, fresh mind; everything was fun and exciting, everything was new and fresh. It's the same now, only the excitement died. It was fun planning months in advance all the games we'll play and all the activities we'll do. I used to anticipate the night of Holika Dahan greatly, the mornings used to be full of excitement. All I could think of during the day was the evening when everyone would gather around and then the night when the fire ignites. Everyone would encircle the campfire, there would be a small prayer and then they would light it on fire. Everyone would slowly back away and the circle would get larger and larger as the flames sore high. People would then start colouring each other already and for this reason we used to go out with oil all over our hands and faces. We would go back home and pick out old discolored clothes to wear the next day.

In the morning, we would have breakfast quickly and start practically bathing in oil so that the colour doesn't stain us for long, we still have school after all. After changing clothes, I would go out in the backyard and start preparing the colour. I would load my pichkari (water gun) and go out slowly to see who all are out. As soon as me and my friends saw each other, we would start the colourful attacks followed by a mutual slowdown because it is usually chilly outside. We would go on calling out the ones who are still inside and then start colour each other with coloured powder. There are many different ones, the most prominent is the pink. This one colour stays the longest after the festival and you can see it on everyone who celebrated.

We would smear each other with the coloured powder, or gulal, for a while and play some very random games. One of them included dividing ourselves into two teams and pretending we're on an episode of Takeshi's castle. We would stop every once in a while to dry ourselves a little and to get some warmth, eventually we would stop because it would get too cold. While standing under the sun on the ground, I liked watching the students dance their heart out on the same few Holi songs that play every year, can you hear balam pichkari playing? They would dance like crazy and throw gulal in the air, it seemed very fun, so much so that I still cannot comprehend it. Oh and we would eventually get hungry as well. It was then we would go out and find the group of aunties and eat some snacks. Oh those sweet sweet memories, I'm writing this with a smile.

The downside was the FOMO I used to get watching the older kids have fun together. I would try to fit in but eventually fade into the background as I always do but let's not get to that. Holi is not fun anymore, I have no friends here left to celebrate it with. The festival of colours now seems black and white like people's thinking and also their lives. This sudden change of vibe seemed very abrupt right? That's what I experienced too.

Then after many months came Ganesh Chaturthi, my second favorite festival. It was exciting to me for reasons I cannot put my finger on but then again you don't have to have a reason, do you? Anyways, I used to be very excited. This one time when I was very young, I woke up before my parents— yes me, the ultimate night owl— and started sweeping the floor and cleaning the rooms. My dad was very surprised to see me when he woke up. He asked what I was doing and I explained that I don't want Ganpati ji to get upset with the unclean surroundings. How pure.

I eventually started a tradition of making clay Ganesha idols at home after learning the harmful effects of plaster of Paris on the environment. I saw a tutorial on YouTube and made my own Ganpati, my friends liked the idea and we started doing it every year. One time we went to the big tree near the school building on a Sunday morning to make the idol. It was the prefect spot since we had water, clay and shade all at the same place. We accidentally gave the visiting parents a message, save the environment. At least, I hope we did. Some parents did come up to us out of curiosity to see what we're doing and it would sound really nice to say we gave an elaborate explanation but that would be a lie. Hopefully they were smart enough to understand. Also, one year, I forgot to make the Ganpati's hands, don't ask it's embarrassing.