𝐒𝐎𝐀𝐏 - 𝐒𝐀𝐌 𝐅.

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-All in Sam's Pov-

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-All in Sam's Pov-

Think I just remembered something
I think I left the faucet running
Now my words are filling up the tub
Darling, you're just soaking in it
But I know you'll get out the minute
You notice all your fingers pruning up

It would be an understatement if i said i felt bad...because i felt worse then bad. The things i said to Y/n during our argument was dreadful, everyone knew it. Even Deena hated me for what i said.
Y/n and i got in a small argument due to the fact that i had to move away...but i was all to blame for our break up- and why I haven't seen Y/n in about a month...maybe even 2.

-FLASHBACK
"Sam..please don't move to SunnyVale" Y/n said while i packed my suitcase. It was the 5th time she has said that this week, i was getting pissed. "Just shut the fuck up Y/n- i cant help that i have to move away, now stop whining" i snapped, making Y/n flinch a little.

"Calm down, geez- who pissed in your cereal" she teased playfully, i rolled my eyes. "Nobody but you're really pissing me off" this caused her to shut up immediately..for about 5 minutes. "Seriously, whats up with you? Is it because of the whole moving thing or..." i huffed. "No Y/n, its you! I think we should break up, you're in my business 24/7 and fuck- just stay the hell away from me!" And thats what she did...

FLASHBACK END-

I'm tired of being careful, gentle, trying to keep the water warm
Let me under your skin
Uh-oh, there it goes, I said too much, it overflowed
Why do I always spill?

I said too much...i was too harsh on her. Truth is, my mum made me move away and break up with Y/n. She hated that i was a lesbian and wanted to get me out of ShadySide...away from Y/n. My mum told me to say a few things to Y/n- to make it seem like I really hated her. But i love her. And i went too far.

I said things that no doubt hurt Y/n, the pained look on her face made me want to pull her into my arms and hug the shit out of her...but I couldn't do that, i knew I couldn't do that...I'll probably never be able to feel Y/n's touch again.

I feel it coming out my throat
Guess I better wash my mouth out with soap
God, I wish I never spoke
Now I gotta wash my mouth out with soap

I spent most of my nights crying in my room- not once did Y/n leave my mind. A few nights i even cursed myself out for saying such horrible stuff to Y/n...i even washed my mouth out with soap which was awful but made me feel better. Just kidding- it made me feel even more shitty

I feel it coming out my throat
Guess I better wash my mouth out with soap
God, I wish I'd never spoke
Now I gotta wash my mouth out with soap

I wish i never spoke to her in that way, i wish my mum could just accept me, i wish I never moved to SunnyVale with a bunch of stuck up people. I moved away from all my friends, the love of my life...and the soap taste in my mouth always reminds me of it sadly.

Think I got myself in trouble
So I fill the bath with bubbles
Then I'll put the towels all away
Should've never said the word "love"
Threw a toaster in the bathtub
I'm sick of all the games I have to play

When I finally worked up the courage to go back to ShadySide and visit, I noticed two people laughing in the rain. It was Simon and Y/n, and soon they were kissing (you're bisexual in this<3) I just wanted to lay in a bath with a toaster right now, forgetting i ever saw this. But i guess- i asked for it...I wouldn't blame Y/n for moving on. And out of all people, I'm happy it was Simon, hes okay i guess

I'm tired of being careful, gentle, trying to keep the water warm
Let me under your skin
Uh-oh, there it goes, I said too much, it overflowed
Why do I always spill?

I haven't seen Y/n since then, but the argument, the kiss and the moving away day still plays on my mind every single day.

I feel it coming out my throat
Guess I better wash my mouth out with soap
God, I wish I never spoke
Now I gotta wash my mouth out with soap

I still remember the soap taste in my mouth

I feel it coming out my throat
Guess I better wash my mouth out with soap
God, I wish I'd never spoke
Now I gotta wash my mouth out with soap

Which constantly reminded me of the horrible things i said to my now ex-girlfriend...

I feel it coming out my throat
Guess I better wash my mouth out with soap
God, I wish I never spoke
Now I gotta wash my mouth out with soap

God- i wish i never said anything...

I feel it coming out my throat
Guess I better wash my mouth out with soap
God, I wish I'd never spoke
Now I gotta wash my mouth out with soap

All i want is to call Y/n Watkins mine again...
But that won't happen, shes happy with Simon now, happier than she ever was with me....

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