Her Lonely Path

   I am Janvi.  I am a nurse from Bangalore. My duty time starts at 8.00 am.  Now I am on the way to my hospital in a bus.

I have time for a short nap. I leaned my head to the bus's window, but I felt pain in my left wrist . Two days before  a pregnant female patient came to hospital. Her mental condition was bad. She was too violent. Doctor prescribed an injection to make her sleep. I was going to prick her with the needle, suddenly she grabbed it and injected it into my wrist. My vein got a cut by her hit. So , now I have a wrap around my wrist. Of course I slept too long and I and I think, I am still dizzy because of it.

    While I am sleeping in the bus , I felt someone touching my shoulder and shaking me. I opened my eyes and looked into that person. I saw a lean tanned lady looking into my face. She was holding a small child . And her shoulder is having a huge bag. I understood , she can't stand properly. I really don't want to sacrifice my seat, but by seeing her difficulty , with hesitation I asked her , "do you want to sit?".

     She replied , " No, madam, But can you hold my child instead? I am scared , he may hurt in this rush".

       I put my bag down and took  the child.

   The little one started smiling at me. He was so so cute. I fell into his cuteness and forgot my surroundings, Forgot his mother. suddenly I heard Conductor's voice , "Next stop, Grace Hospital". I startled. Its my stop. I looked for the child's mother. But she was not there !!! I got up from the seat with the child and looked around. She is not in the bus !!! I frightened . What will I do with this child?  I called the Conductor and told the truth .

But shockingly , he said, "why are you lying lady? Are you trying to abandon him? You entered the bus with this child. You were playing with him. I know this is your child".

   I denied what he said. He didn't believe me. Nobody believed me. People became violent, they want to slap me. They are cursing me.  Everybody suggested to re route the bus to police station. Thus they bring me in police station with child. 

     There I told everything truly, a police women came and snatched the child from
me. Then the child started crying and pointed his finger to me , and called me " Ma, ma".

Everybody inside the police station looked at me as a culprit. That police women came to me and gave a slap
In my right cheek. My cheek and eyes burned by it.

She said; "A child always recognize its mother. He called you 'ma'. He cannot say a lie in this small age. Do you think that we are fools?"

I again denied, " no, I am unmarried, this is not my child".

That police women kicked me in my abdomen with her knee.

      I cried loudly ...
and suddenly I jumped up from my bed.

        Again it was a dream!!! A nightmare!!! It became a habit for me now. Daily doze of nightmare. Sana  hugged me and patted my back and said " You will be all right Janvi. You have me".

        I know , in past , I met with an accident, and I was in a coma. So I forget few things in my past.  Few months before I had regular vague dreams during my sleep. Recently it became scary nightmares.

      Sana  is my sister. More than that she is the only one friend I left . She want me to consult with her Psychiatrist friend in Chennai . So today, we are traveling to Chennai by train.

      In train, I saw  a lean, tanned lady holding a child entering into our compartment. I stared at her. The same lady in my nightmare !!!

I screamed loudly and ran towards her and slapped . Train is stopping in a station. I jumped to the platform and started running.

     I can hear the voice of people behind me. I heard Sana's voice.

"Janvi please stop. Don't hurt the child. Please give him to his mother."

    By hearing this I realised something.   Yes , I am holding that child. Somebody grabbed me from behind. That lady snatched her child from my hand and started showering kisses to him.  Someone from the crowd slapped on my face. He called me a kidnapper.  Sana begged them to stop beating me. Then I heard my story. Sana started explaining it to the crowd.

       She is not my sister. Not even a friend. She is just a kind hearted person , a human right activist who is looking care of mental patients. 

       I had a husband . We had a love marriage.   I was pregnant with inverted Uterus, where the child's position is reversed in the womb.  Doctor suggested bed rest. One night , I caught my husband as red handed from my maid's room . Adultery !!!  I forgot I was pregnant . I jumped from the balcony and was in coma for three years. I lost my child. Husband abandoned me. I am an orphan.  I have nobody.

     From coma , I came back to normal life.  But always I forget my past . When I remember it , I try  to commit suicide. From Sana'a words I realized the truth.

    So, I am not a nurse. I am the patient who attacked the nurse with needle. I am the one who tried to commit suicide by cutting my left wrist vein. I am the one who snatched the child from his mother. And it is a big lie that Sana is my sister.  I am a burden to her.

I walked towards railway track.

      After explaining to the crowd , Sana looked around.  Janvi was not there. A train was stopping in the platform.

     Next day's newspaper had a missing news. "Janvi Sekhar, 25 years ".

  Janvi selected a lonely path.