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"what do you want to watch?"
i was squatting on the floor in front of our tv, surrounded by stacks of dvds. takashi was sitting on the sofa, looking at me with amusement.
we wanted to have a dvd night instead of a netflix night - the old fashioned way.
"come here, otherwise you won't see it right" i grumbled, so takashi stood up with a sigh. i didn't take my eyes off him as he came over to me and crouched down with a smooth movement.
his eyes never left mine as, without looking, he reached into the pile of dvds and pulled one out. "this one"
i broke eye contact, looking down at the cover. it was a movie i had never seen, yet i nodded. "it must be good"
it wasn't.
i dozed off with takashi's arm wrapped around me and woke up abruptly. this happened a few times until i lost the fight against the heavy lids and felt takashi's amused look on me as i nodded off.
when i woke up some time later, it was dark in the room. only the tv lit up the living room, making takashi's eyes, which were fixed on the screen, sparkle.
he blinked twice, and i saw a tear run down takashi's cheek - finally dripping onto his, still naked, upper body.
his arm, which was still wrapped around me, tightened. he wiped the tears away energetically with his other hand.
"takashi?" i whispered softly, and he looked around, startled.
"oh, hey. you're awake"
he pretended to concentrate on the movie, his face relaxing but not his arm. soothed, i placed a hand on his chest, frowning. "is everything okay?"
his voice broke away. "yes"
"no it's not. you were crying"
takashi pressed his lips together into a thin line. "the movie is just so emotional"
i turned my head to follow what was happening. "yeah, as if," i said, as at that moment another teenager's head was cut off in the movie. "takashi, you can talk to me about anything. please let me help you" i whispered as i saw him start to shake.
"how are you going to be able to help me?" he almost shouted, "you can't even help yourself."
"what is that supposed to mean?"
takashi bit his lower lip, averting his gaze. "i don't know what to do," he admitted quietly "chifuyu is dead."
