𝗖𝗵𝗮𝘀𝗲 | ✓

Chapter-23

ᴀᴍ ɪ ᴡʀᴏɴɢ ꜰᴏʀ ᴡᴀɴᴛɪɴɢ ᴜꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ɪᴛ?
....

"Lukeeeyy." I shout jumping on Luke's bed. This dork is still sleeping and it's 2 in the afternoon.

After having breakfast with Chase, which thankfully was without Caden as he was sleeping, he dropped me home on my continuous insistence.

"Bugger off." He mumbled, covering his head with the pillow.

"Wake up, wake up. I have something very exciting to tell you." I shake him. I can't keep it in now. I need to tell him.

"What is it?" He said, still under the covers. So, I pulled off the covers and pillow from his face.

"I kissed Chase." I tell him.

"I don't want to listen about your dirty dreams. Go back." He said, trying to pull up the covers. I smacked his left cheek and he sat up. "What was that for?" He scowled holding his right cheek. I didn't even hit that one.

"I hit the other one dick, and now stop killing my excitement. I cheered for you when Malea accepted to be your girlfriend." I remind him.

"You're always kissing men in your dreams, it's not my fault." He whined, holding the left cheek now.

"Shut up. He kissed me." I did a little dance.

He frowned again. "I thought you kissed him?"

"Yeah, there was some juice on my chin so he kissed me on my chin then I kissed the corner of his lips-"

"TMI."

"I kissed him first but we are not counting it okay? It wasn't the best but then he kissed me, on his room's balcony. It was the best kiss of my life." I tell him.

"I'm happy for you." He says with a smile and hugs me. "Me too. If she treats you right then I'm happy that you found Malea." I say, squeezing him back.

"Yeah, I had the best se-" I interrupt him by punching his back.

"I'm not talking about sex asshole."

"Yeah, yeah. Now shoo, you stink." He said, pulling away from the hug and lying down. I lie down beside him.

"Is he my boyfriend now?" I ask him.

"Did you ask him to be?"

"I asked if he's mine?" My mouth forms an 'o'.

"Nah, you gotta ask him to be your boyfriend, idiot." He says, poking my forehead.

"Oooooo. When do I ask? Right now?" I ask him. I never had a boyfriend before, people always thought Luke and I were dating so no one tried to approach me, and neither I tried to approach them. How the hell do you make someone your boyfriend? Is kissing not enough?

In my opinion, I feel like giving yourself to someone takes so much trust and the only person I trusted in my life at that time was Luke, I never looked at him in any other way than my bestfriend. After graduation, I fell into job searching and sexual pleasures felt less important than financial pleasure.

I want to live the love they write in books, the toe-curling one. I never had someone to love me other than Luke. My mother didn't care about me, I spent my childhood at a neighbor's house, and when they used to get tired of me then I was locked into my mother's house, looking back now, I can't even consider it my home or simply my house. It was always my mother's, she loved crack more than her own daughter, I spent weeks with an empty stomach. She didn't know who my father was, apparantly I was a mistake.

During my teen years, she used to slut shame me and called me names. I ignored it as much as I could, but the words still haunt me. They shouldn't, they shouldn't even affect me but after years and years of listening to them, they traumatized my young brain. I used to start believing them. That is the reason I cried when Chase implied that I was a whore, my mother's words stopped bothering me after a while but they came as a reminder about who I was or who my mother made me believe I was, or maybe because I had feelings for him and that hurt me. My mother never apologized, even when she was sober, that's why I forgave Chase. He knew what he said was wrong and he tried to correct his mistake. Sometimes people don't understand how a simple apology could affect someone. As someone who was never apologized to, It felt great to see someone recognize their mistake and do something about it.

I think I went a little off track but the thing is, I really want that I and Chase could be a thing someday. Even if we don't then I'm happy to have a little time to feel wanted.

I honestly don't know what to expect from him, I have never seen him being in a relationship in 2 years, he could've dated or I just didn't know about it. He's a private person. I have several theories. Some I've wondered out aloud like the fifty shades one. The silent ones give the biggest shocks so it's not impossible, he could be hiding a playroom in his big-ass penthouse. Or maybe he had a past lover who scarred him for the rest of his life, so now he sleeps around, hating every female specie? He doesn't seem like a person who sleeps around, so I kind off don't like this theory much. He could be having a wife and a kid and no one would know about it. So it ends with me not knowing what to expect.

He's an idiot, making me think so many things.

Luke's snore brought me out of my thinking, douche didn't even tell me when do I ask him to be my boyfriend. Stupid.

What might Chase be thinking right now? Is he regretting everything or overthinking everything like me? I don't know when I fell asleep but I did dream about my Idiot.

.......
I changed Chase's aesthetic a little, just a tiny bit. You can check it out if you want to, and to all those people who stuck with me till here, thank you so much. It means alot to me. I'm nothing without y'all.
Love, Dorothea.