he makes me reign

my big secret.

October 21 morning

I woke up and got everything I needed to get ready to perform. I love performing. There's absolutely nothing better in this world then seeing my little ones in the audience completely stunned or crying or screaming..or all of the above just shouting my lyrics with me having the best time, having memories that they will remember forever. And to have the power to imprint kids like that, having me as one of their first memories and idol..it's just, magical. Everything I've ever wanted.
This is my second time performing at Disney. I did my first show for the first descendants, I wasn't around for the second one.

Oh yeah.

Something important..

I used to date a rapper.
YES RAPPER.
It was the worst time of my life. rappers aren't the way forward I've learnt. he went by the name 6ix9ine...yeah I got tangled in his web. before I know he was even in a gang, I already seen and knew far too much. So I had to be apart if it. Or it was me. And seeing the shit they use to do and what I used to do to people..I wouldn't want to be on the other side of that.
Yeah my mums loss hit a bit too hard.
Long story short, he snitched on me. He was caught robbing a bank and he was armed. I was shooting the second descendants at the time of this so, I wasn't even caught up in this. Daniel (his real name) was wanted by the police due to his crimes, his way out of a life sentence was to tell the police who else was involved in the gang..and I was the first one he told the police about.

Completely fucked my reputation.
All I've ever wanted to be was an inspiration. A icon. I felt as though he totally SNATCHED it way from me. I went to a juvie dressed as Queen Mal with a crown on and everything. Police had to come with me to sets and wait for me to take me back to juvie until I finished shooting the descendants. My best friend at the time who played Evie hated me after that.

I'd never forget that day. No one knew I was involved in treyway. So when I was on set and my director got a call from NYPD saying I had a court hearing..it really wasn't a nice emotion.
My director Kenny drove me down there and I saw Daniel sat behind bars and he looked at me and said'
"I'm sorry, gorgeous"
I thought he'd be caught so, I cried as he held my hand through the bars and once I was taken in for questioning, that's when I found out the truth.

I came out the room, mascara down to my chin, I grabbed Daniel through the bars and strangled him with his shirt, police tried to get me off but I was furious. Nothing can stop me once I get that like. Partly why I don't want to wrestle.

I spent a year in a woman's only jail. I had to go back to the UK for that, but because of who I am, I got to come back to the US but had to spend 6 months under house arrest. Yeah, my dad wasn't happy.
Disney have amazing lawyers. I'll always be so grateful for Harry.
I spent a year under really really bad depression. I felt like everything I've ever wanted was now gone and no one would ever want anything to do with me again, but In my surprise, everyone on social media was praising me? Is that the right way to put it? They basically HAAATTTTEEED Danny for what he did to not just me but to many, many of my closest friends.
It sucks to think everyone felt sorry for me. I'm not that type of person who soaks all of that in. But I'm so grateful that no one actually hated me. The second descendants was actually a massive hit and my song ,If Only, from the first descendants went triple platinum in the time I was gone.

I spent ages thinking that Disney was now completely done with me and because of that no one else would want to work with me. But I was wrong.
I was so wrong.
Now I've got rid of Daniel, I have to most incredible people in my life. Friends and my Father. I'm so happy he didn't turn his back on me. And I've always had the most amazing fans. I truly wish I could squish all of their faces and speak to each and every one of them. I want to tell them all personally and individually that I love them so much. Because I really really do. None of this is possible without those guys.

Yeah so I haven't told Roman or anyone that part. They don't really need to know and if the really wanted to know then they can literally search my name Ja5myne Cena on Google and they'll find it.
Because it was fucking everywhere.

Im now currently driving with my dad on the way to DisneyWorld. I'm so excited for this performance. It was the first time performing in front of my dad so he's super stoaked too.
Makes my little heart so warm.

*my phone dings*

Roman
"Good luck beautiful, not that you need it x"

Awh..Roman messaged me and he remembered!

You
"Thank you, have a good workout sesh! X"

Roman
"Let me know when you're done with the studio x"

..he's going to wanna hang out. Can't lie I'm a little scared.

You
"Don't you have a fight tonight?x"

Roman
"Doesn't mean I can't see you? X"
I smiled as I read that.

You
"What time is your fight?x"

Roman
"Last match of the night, so I'd say about 9:30-10 x"

You
"I might just come watch you😉x"

Roman
"Nah, you'd BETTER come and watch me😉x"

You
"Tbh, can't think of anything better😉x"

Roman
"If you're free tomorrow, we should pick up from where we left off..tonight?..😏x"
I giggled

Dad looked over to me and said,
"Who are you texting?"
I looked over in a panic and said,
"Alexa"
I replied to Roman and said
"I'd like that😩🤦🏻‍♀️x"

Roman
"You like the idea, but I can change that😩😉x"

You
"What does that mean?😉x"

Roman
"You're gonna love it😉x"

THATS IT
IM HAVING ME SOME ROMAN.

You
"Oooo, can't wait big dog😉x"

Roman
"Call me your tribal chief😉x"

You
"My tribal chief😙😙x"

Roman
"😩🤤I'll see you tonight London, gotta get back to this workout, have fun x"

You
"See you tonight Florida, have a good workout..🤤x"

I'm obsessed with this man.

I arrived at Disney, I performed 3 songs called Evil, a cover of Genie In A Bottle by Christina Aguilera and my hit song If Only.
My dad sat front row and filmed the whole thing, he told me he wanted to fill in what he wasn't able to do. He treated it like a preschool production. It was very emotional. My dad was in bits watching me perform. I tried hard to keep it together.
Seeing my younger ones in the audience didn't help the tears either. I did very well to keep sane.
I got to go on rides with my younger fans, get popcorn and cotton candy. It was one of my favourite days yet. I love spending time with my fans. Nothing will beat those guys. I didn't touch my phone til I was on the way to see Romans fight, I like to take a break from it.