fucking with our lovers' heads

Chapter 2

Just one more chapter to go....

Michael

Okay, so maybe he didn't make the best decisions. Obviously, this is Jeremy. Obviously, the best friend, who he apparently had feelings for, is Michael.

In fact, maybe he made the worst decision of his life! And he should probably forget he ever read that, because clearly, Jeremy didn't want him to know.

But what in the world is he supposed to do now?

He's never going to actually forget. He couldn't if he wanted to—those words will probably be burned into his brain for the rest of his life.

But he can't let Jeremy keep talking. That would be beyond unforgivable, and his conscience wouldn't let him—even if he is a little curious.

Okay, a lot curious.

Jeremy had feelings for him?

The same Jeremy that wouldn't look him in the eye after the SQUIP? The same Jeremy that wouldn't even look in his direction for longer than a few seconds, after the SQUIP?

The same Jeremy who ghosted him and never stopped ghosting him for almost a year and counting three weeks after the SQUIP?

If Jeremy had feelings for him, he sure had a funny way of showing it.

So Michael does what he always does when he isn't sure what to say to Jeremy—he goes silent.

Jeremy hasn't seemed to mind before; he's always happy to have Marshmello back when Marshmello comes back, and internet friendships are just sometimes like that—on, off, on off, not like IRL friendships, where you see each other every day and chat face to face and feel the warmth of their body when they sling their arm around your shoulder, etc. etc..

Michael can usually come up with some sort of response that steers them carefully away from the topic of—well, of himself—in the time he doesn't respond.

He doesn't know why he asked what happened, after months of carefully avoiding the topic of himself. It just felt wrong, so he didn't do it. He shouldn't have done it.

And yeah, maybe he didn't want to know.

But now he's here, and Jeremy's answer is nothing like what he expected.

Jeremy's answer doesn't even make any sense.

He thinks about it when he's picking at his dinner.

He thinks about it when he's lying in bed, curled around his phone, rereading his conversation with Boyf_.

It doesn't make any sense, but it's right there, and now—whether or not he understands what the hell is going on—he needs to do something. He could:

One: ghost Jeremy. Completely. Even if that was weird, Jeremy wouldn't be able to do anything or find anything out; it's on the internet, for fuck's sake, mutuals go dead silent for no reason all the time.

Two: sidestep the subject. Of course, that's not really... possible... since there's no other thread of the conversation to pick up, but Michael could just change the subject entirely. Pretend they never talked about Jeremy's gay feelings for his best friend.

Three:

Three...

Three: he could come clean.

He should come clean. That would be the right thing to do.

It would also be fucking terrifying and insane, and deeply painful for probably both of them, but definitely at least Michael—which he deserves! But like, yikes.