major tom

chapter 5: burning fool

[tamino's pov]

lazuli grumbled as she fumbled about with a bottle of juice. her teeth gritting as she whispered hushed profanities. my nose was pointing at the sky, eyes staring at anything but her. 

there was an unbearable thickness to the air around us, suffocating enough to make my chest feel heavy. we were meeting for the first time in two weeks after avoiding each other under reasonable circumstances but the true reason was evident. 

"how is that chap of yours?" she suddenly said, seemingly after mustering up the courage to address me. 

"which chap?" i muttered back, eyes finally falling onto her as she looked ahead on the river's bank. 

"that charlie fellow and his sodomite adventures" she stated matter-of-factly and it took all my will not to chuckle. 

"he is well, focusing on himself for now." 

"good," she sighed, "that's good." 

"one should always focus on themselves," i continued, "all we have is our body after all." 

she waited for a minute, possibly to take in the statement before she said anything, "i believe so too." suddenly, her back fell to the grass beside me -- my side towards her growing warm, "but there's nothing wrong with putting your loved ones by you." 

"do you think he loves ammon?" i heard myself say. 

"we do silly, daring things only for the ones we truly care for," she looked at me, grass crunching under her head, "kissing and not caring for the circumstance which follows is quite a silly thing." 

i couldn't find the words to express myself anymore. often it seemed my words meant nothing to her or perhaps i couldn't satisfy her with whatever nonsense i had to say. my actions were all she cared for.

it was a chaste kiss, it didn't take much will to pull myself up -- i knew i had to 'do it now' or she'd be awfully disappointed. my palms lay pressed on the wild grass by her head, heat radiating off both our beings. 

my throat tightened when her bony fingers ghosted over my ear, questioning whether to grab my face or not.

i leaned back, staring into her glossed eyes. my palm engulfing the hand she brought to my face, pressing it against my jaw. i could stare at her for eternity, longer if it were possible. her scattered hair, the arch of her nose, the ridges and furrows of her face. 

i was damned. 

she had damned me into her unforgiving love and i couldn't help but grin much like a fool. a grin on her face matching mine. 

we walked to the city centre with our hands clasped together, my palms growing alarmingly sweaty. she kissed my cheek as i pressed her against me and as i walked away i felt something eerie scratch at my heart. 

charlie, poor fellow, sat on his bed as he read our reading material out loud for me to listen to. my thoughts of course were elsewhere. 

"bastard master blackwell and his idiotic choice of books," charlie cursed, his cotton like hair statically erect from distress. 

"get a grip old chap," i grinned causing his eyebrows to shoot up. 

"what are you smiling about amir?" 

"the sea," i replied staring at his muddy shoes that were pressed on our kashan rug and his comforter that fell beside his bed, "you dirty fool."

"there's no need for you to insult me like th--" 

"your shoes charlie, how will you sleep in your own filth?" 

"oh rot!" he exclaimed, jumping up and rushing to the door to take off his loafers, "sorry timmy, my mind's a mess, i ought to end up in the asylum by the end of the week god forbid" 

"what's wrong charles?" 

"poppycock that's all." 

i sighed and pushed myself off the bed. his demeanour changing as he saw me grow serious, "c'mon charlie, what's wrong?" 

he sighed like i had, dropping down next to the door, "ammon approached me yesterday and brought me behind the stairs today, said something about how i fall for everyone around me and how he thinks it's pathetic." 

my eyes dulled down as i bit my cheek to stop myself from cursing the fellow. 

"he said he feels dirty having touched by me knowing how many other's i've been wi--" 

"and is it true?" 

"of course not! he's the first fellow i've kissed! hell he's the first fellow i've even considered!" 

i fell silent. lazuli would've known what to say. 

"he looked like a lunatic, eyes and ears red from rage," charlie continued, "he glared at me as he left tamino what did i do to deserve this?" 

"you do not deserve this charlie, trust me." i mumbled as i stood up, pacing about my bed for a moment before stopping by the door where charlie sat curled, defeatedly. "lazuli has a friend who is uh--" 

"a poofter?" 

"well yes," i cleared my throat, "meet him for a chat, see how things go with him and perhaps this ammon business will die down once he sees how meaningless the whole ordeal was." 

charlie fell slient, seemingly considering it until he finally gave me an assuring nod. 

"good man!" i laughed, as he shot up -- taken aback by my change in mood. he'd be surprised by what a simple and indirect mention of lazuli could do to me. 

charlie was just as damned as me -- if not more. 

+ 

hello brilliant people :p

im gonna put this book on hiatus till i figure out what to do with it lol till then you're more than welcome to read my other books and maybe vote n comment on those huh??? :D 

see you all soon! 

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