You & I

Chapter Four

My plan to make Mattheo fall in love seemed like a good idea as I brewed the potion, but my subconscious kicked in and I felt guilty.

It is not my place to make him love, I know I just want him to be happy but if someone did that to me I wouldn't be too happy, in fact id be furious.

"Mattheo" I looked at him while he wrote down the notes on the parchment paper of what I was doing. "Yeah?" He questioned setting the quill down and giving me his full attention.

I froze, I couldn't seem to find the right words so ask him without offending him, he has a shirt temper and I don't want to set him off.

"Earth to El?" He waved his hand in front of my face breaking me out of my small trance. I shook my head and laughed.

"Sorry, I wanted to ask you something?" I said shyly, I know Mattheo is my best friend but it wouldn't stop him from snapping at me if offended him.

"Okay ask away" he smiled, fixing his posture in his chair and rested his elbow on the table and placed his chin on top of his chin.

"Why do you not let people in-" I paused taking a small breath "like why do you not allow yourself to care for anyone?" I whispered lowly not wanting attention from anyone around us to hear.

"Why are you asking this?" He furrowed his eyebrows at me, turning is gave away from me and looking back down to the parchment paper.

"It's just maybe, if you allowed yourself to care for someone and let someone care for you maybe you might be happier" I whispered as I continued to stir the potion.

             "Love doesn't make you happy El, that's fairytale talk and I hate to break it to you this isn't some muggle movie we live in this is a harsh world, love only makes you weak" he spoke harshly still not looking up as he wrote notes on the paper.

          I mean I know what he means I cared for someone before and I was left heartbroken and  vulnerable, but I still believe in love and I believe that once you find the right person to love only makes you stronger.

               "How would you know if you never tried?" I questioned turning my head to look at him, his gripped on the quill became intense I knew I was irritating him with my questions.

               "Ellie, leave it alright" he huffed and turned to face me, "You might feel like love can heal things but I simply believe otherwise, I'm not having this conversation anymore" and with that he went back to writing.

              I left him alone, there's no point in talking to him about this when his mind is made up. It's a shame though i think Mattheo is like this because the lack of love he experienced growing up.

             None of us grew up with a great childhood,  we were all neglected as children and had to grow up quite early in life, but Mattheo had it worse than us.

           I knew some things, only because I witnessed it first hand. From his mother too busy killing everyone around him, to his father who would beat him mercilessly. We mightn't have been treated like a child should be growing up but Mattheo had it worse and that's not even the half of it.

             "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned it" I placed him hand on his and rubbed my thumb over his knuckles, which caused him to look at me and give me a small smile. "It's okay El" he mumbled.

             "Is there something going on between you and Diggory?" He questioned suddenly catching me of guard. His eyes beamed into mine waiting for my answer.