Secrets ❉ n.m

Chapter 17

-Nate POV-

I knew Alex would be in detention today because she was late. So I pissed Mr Lee off to get into detention too so I could explain to Alex whats going on. I needed some place where she's forced to hear me out.

But when I walked in, she looked like she might throw up just by looking at me. It kinda made me feel more guilty. Not as guilty as how she looked at Lunch when I walked in with Stacy. Like I'd slapped her in the face and ran over her heart with a truck. She looked wrecked and its all because of my stupid cowardice.

She had stormed out, tears spilling down her cheeks. Stacy - well nobody actually- didn't see but I noticed her. And my heart broke.

"Take a seat Mr Maloley." Ms April said.

I sat right next to Alex who kept her eyes on the desk infront of her like Beyonce was performing on it. "I'll be right back, no talking or another hour." Ms April said shutting the door behind her.

"Alex - " i started immediately but she cut me off just as quickly.

"Shut up."

It worked for a few seconds because it surprised me. I hadn't expected her to be so angry. Okay maybe I did...

"Please hear me out Alex...this isn't what you think - "

"Shut up. Don't you understand that?" She snapped not looking up from writing notes in her book. I blinked.

"But you just need to listem Lex. You know that I care about you and -"

"I don't wanna listen to your fucked up worthless excuses Nate!" She said finally looking at me with teary eyes. "You don't a wet monkeys ass about me and you've proved that today! So leave me alone"

"But baby its not - "

She laughed dryly. "I've always did everything to make you happy and you didn't even care Nate! So just stop...just shut up because everything you say is BULLSHIT." she spat at me. Her cold eyes staring me down.

"I meant everything I said! You know that Alex!" I said hopelessly.

Tears spilled down her cheeks as she whispered the next words. "I hate myself for falling in love with you. Sammy was right." I heard the crack in her voice.

And thats what silenced me, the fact thats he regrets falling for me. But partly because she thinks Sammy doesn't want her to be with me because I'm a fuckboy. The reason is so far from that, I've never been with a girl until Alex.

Its a reason I still can't tell her because she'd hate me more. I was about to say something Ms April walked it. Alex turned back to her notes and wiped her tears away every few seconds.

I was praying Ms April could leave again so i could hold my baby. Take away those tears and heartbreak that I caused, even though I tried so hard to not do that to her. But Ms April stayed as if to spite me.

So I sat there stifly, watching Alex sob silently.

-

When detention ended, Alex bolted out before I could catch her but i ran after her anyways. But I was too late because she met Gilinsky and they walked to his car. I called her name, both of them looked back but Alex pulled him to the car.

They sped off leaving me frozen to the cement.

What had I done? There's no way out of this one because it would mean letting Sammy down and risking Alex's relationship with her brother if he finds out we had a fling.

Fuck my life.

-ALEX POV-

I stayed up late staring at the window and reminded myself that Nate isn't coming, that Nate isn't mine anymore, that he's with Stacy mow.

I turned over and sobbed into my pillow like a baby. I missed him more than anything. I missed how we talked for hours and never got bored, how he would hold me until i fall asleep. I missed his presence.

I had ignored his calls and texts and soon he must have gave up because I didn't respond to any. Sammy tried talking to me but I locked myself in my room away from the world.

Jack called and I answered because he's the only one I could tolerate. He came over to hang for a while which probably hurt Sammy at I'd talk to Jack and now him. Which i hope did because this is his fault. all of it.

I managed to fall asleep after tossing and turning and crying over a dumb boy. A typical teenage heartache. But still...

I missed Nate.

____

This is short but it's my fave!